Discovering that you've been blocked can feel like a kick in the gut. When you can no longer see their name on your friend list, and their phone number is suddenly unavailable, your mind races with all sorts of questions.
You might pore over your most recent interactions to try to figure out what you did wrong. You might try to reach out via good old text message, only to get a ‘failed’ delivery notification. You might even try to rationalize the whole thing.
“Maybe he lost his phone.”
“Maybe his social media accounts were hacked.”
Unfortunately… we both know that these reasons aren't true. But what excuse is?
Things to know
- When a guy blocks you, it might be a form of self-protection in response to something you either said or did.
- Blocking you may also be an escape from a difficult situation that he's reluctant to face.
- If he's narcissistic or abusive, blocking you might be an attempt to control or manipulate you.
Like anyone in your situation, you might be wondering what prompted such a drastic response. Here's what we'll be looking at to help you find the answers:
- Why Do Men Block Women?
- Why Would A Guy Block You Then Unblock You?
- How Do You React When A Guy Blocks You?
- Take Back Your Power
Why Do Men Block Women?
Sometimes people don't take no for an answer. They cross personal boundaries repeatedly until blocking them is the only way to protect themselves.
Often, blocking is a way to create distance; it's also an avoidance technique. When you don't want to deal with something, it's an easy out. It's definitely more ‘convenient’ than hashing things out.
In some cases, blocking toxic people is the only way to get rid of them. Blocking is particularly helpful when dealing with narcissists.
Though you might get why people resort to blocking — perhaps you’ve used some of these reasons to justify blocking someone, too (I certainly have); being on the receiving end still sucks.
Let's face it; unless he tells you why you’ll never know why he did it. Nevertheless, we can still make a few reasonable guesses. Here's why he might have blocked you:
1. It was a knee-jerk reaction
Blocking you might be a knee-jerk reaction to something you said or did. If your last interaction was heated and you disagreed about something, one possible reason is that he blocked you out of anger.
Perhaps you offended him, or you expressed views that were contrary to his own, and instead of talking about it, he simply decided to block you.
2. He's seeing someone else
If he's dating someone new, he might want to focus on them as opposed to you. He may not want your interactions to affect his budding relationship. He may not want to give his new partner a reason to doubt their relationship.
Staying in contact with exes is probably one of the most common reasons new lovers argue. If he’s your ex, then he probably doesn't want trouble; it's just easier for your ex to ghost you.
In the event that you're still dating and he's seeing someone new, he’s cheated on you, and blocking you is the cowardly way of breaking things off and avoiding confrontation.
3. He's just not that into you
Have things been tense between you lately? Maybe you asked him the dreaded "where is this going" question. If you've been in the talking stage for a while, it's only natural to want to know where things are headed. Blocking you is a not-so-subtle way of telling you that your 'relationship' is going nowhere.
4. Your posts triggered him
Do you consider yourself an avid social media user? Maybe he’s just tired of seeing your posts across all his social media accounts multiple times a day. There’s a possibility that he found your posts triggering in some way, and he no longer wants to see them. By blocking you, he is simply asserting his boundaries.
5. He just wants to hurt you
It hurts to be cut off without an explanation, and he knows that. This might be an attempt to hurt you. Think about your relationship dynamic, do you do certain things just to upset each other?
Could this be revenge for ignoring him? Either way, this is a toxic situation, and you may want to use the time apart to reflect. If you're not ready to let go, consider speaking to a professional to learn healthier ways of relating to each other.
6. He doesn't appreciate you
Maybe you're a strong, independent woman who loves to go after what she wants. If he's not progressive in his views, he might have found your efforts overwhelming or off-putting.
Maybe he loves the chase, and you were too straightforward for him. Maybe your enthusiasm (over text or otherwise) was too much for him to handle. Whatever the case may be, you dodged a bullet — do you really want to be with someone who doesn't understand or appreciate your strong energy?
7. He still has strong feelings for you
If you broke up with him, staying in contact with him might be a painful reminder of rejection. Blocking you is a way to move on. It's also a way to spare himself the heartache of seeing you with someone else.
If you were in his shoes, would you want to see him flaunting his new lover? Would you like to scroll through a comment section filled with mutual friends congratulating them on their new relationship?
8. He wants space to heal
If you just broke up, he might need some space. Because break-ups are fraught with tension and negative emotions, the no contact rule is a great way to heal, reflect and move on. Blocking you is his way of making sure that he doesn’t contact you until you’ve both had time to think and process things.
9. He's trying to manipulate you
Toxic people resort to mind games to get what they want. If he has blocked you, and this isn't the first time, that's a major red flag. It's especially problematic if he uses blocking to get even or if he places conditions on unblocking you.
Just because he rejected you, it doesn’t mean someone else won't appreciate you.
10. He’s a narcissist
It’s common to receive the silent treatment when dating a narcissist and other forms of psychological abuse to gain the upper hand. Not sure if he’s one? If you experienced any of the following while you were with him, he might be a narcissist.
- Your relationship progressed too fast.
- The grandiose affection he showered you with faded as time went on.
- Everything was about him.
- He lacked empathy.
- He was jealous and insecure.
11. He's hurt
If you hurt his feelings, he may have blocked you to protect himself. Rather than being upfront about his feelings, blocking you was the easier, less stressful alternative. We all process pain in different ways, and while some people like to actively work through issues, others prefer to avoid them.
12. He has an avoidant attachment style
Those with an avoidant attachment style fear intimacy. They also fear losing their independence in relationships. If he's an avoidant, blocking you is a way to distance himself. This is especially the case if you were getting too close or if you were demanding more intimacy from him.
13. He's a player
A typical player will string multiple women along for as long as possible and then drop them when things get inconvenient. Was his behavior (online and offline) inconsistent?
Would he ignore you for hours and then text you everyday when he wanted to hook up? Unfortunately, he's a player, and he blocked you (possibly others too) to make room for his next victims.
Why Would A Guy Block You Then Unblock You?
Maybe you’re wondering, “Why would he unblock me but not talk to me?” Well, he might be nervous to reach out, or he's playing mind games. Either way, tread with caution.
Here are three common reasons a guy would block you then unblock you:
He regrets blocking you
It's been a few days, and it has occurred to him that blocking you was an impulsive decision. He's probably staring at your name right now, wondering how to initiate contact.
If you wanted to, you could text him first. But how would he learn that his actions have consequences? Let him figure it out; he got himself into this mess after all.
He has mixed feelings
Blocking and unblocking you is a sign that he's torn between loving and hating you. While it might be tempting to reach out, let him work through his feelings. You don't want to risk pushing him away. You want him to be sure of his next step, or he might just block you again.
He's getting ready to reach out
If you broke up and it's been a couple of weeks since he blocked you, unblocking you could be a sign that he wants to reach out. Maybe he had time to rethink and is ready to get in touch after no contact.
So, wait a little longer and see how things unfold. If he sends you a friend request and seems amiable, there's a chance that he wants to work things out. At the very least, he may want to be friends.
How Do You React When A Guy Blocks You?
Blocking is a form of social rejection, which explains why it hurts so much. In fact, there’s plenty of research that suggests being rejected is no different from being physically injured.
Being blocked can affect your emotional, mental, and physical health for months. While rejection tends to provoke feelings of anger, anxiety, jealousy, and sadness, the uncertainty surrounding being blocked only amplifies these feelings.
So, do you track him down and give him a piece of your mind, or do you simply let it go? Here's what to do when a guy blocks you:
Don't chase him
If you're in the wrong, don't create a new account just to make things right. Even if you're completely innocent, don't pester him or demand an explanation. For your own sanity, don't make a desperate attempt to contact him. Simply delete his phone number, accept that he chose to block you, and make peace with it.
Focus on self-improvement
There’s nothing like a bit of self-improvement to boost your self-confidence and keep you busy. Working on yourself is a great way to distract yourself from the pain and disappointment. Plus, when you're finally ready to date again, being the best version of yourself will give you a competitive edge.
Work through your emotions
With a typical break-up, you know exactly why things ended. While this does nothing to heal your broken heart, you learn to accept it. What makes blocking a potent form of psychological torture is the lack of closure.
However, as with any split, it's important to give yourself time to heal. You might be tempted to brush your feelings aside, but that’s only a temporary solution. The best way to move on is to work through your emotions.
If you’re finding it hard to process your emotions, talk to a friend or family member. If you’d rather confide in a stranger, speak to a mental health professional.
Take care of yourself
Instead of moping around and picking yourself apart, get out there and do the things that make you feel good about yourself. You're in a vulnerable place physically and emotionally, so be sure to take proper care of yourself. Avoid skipping meals, get enough sleep, and get plenty of exercise and focus on improving your life.
Even if you thought things were going great and you simply cannot understand why you would block you, try not to take it too personally. Although you may never gain closure, it's crucial to understand that people often do things to serve their own interests.
If you suspect that you may have hurt or offended him, there's no way of letting him know that you're sorry. The next best thing is to own up to your actions and work on doing better next time.
What can you take away from this whole situation? If you suspect that your behavior may have caused him to block you, are you willing to change it going forward?
Maybe you were not the most agreeable woman where he was involved. Are you ready to let all those negative feelings go? Do some serious introspection to figure out what you can do to prevent this from happening again.
Don’t give up on finding love
Don't let one bad experience stop you from finding love. Just because he rejected you, it doesn’t mean someone else won't appreciate you. Even if you don't feel like it, you're still attractive.
Go out on a few dates and have fun. Better yet, find a few social clubs related to your interests. You might just meet someone you're more compatible with in the process. Plus, being social is a great way to lift your mood.
Be kind to yourself
Treating yourself with kindness will speed up the healing process. Whenever you start to ruminate on what you could have done differently, remind yourself that you can't go back in time. Rebuild your self-esteem instead.
Instead of dwelling on your negative traits, focus on your positive qualities. Keep in mind that other people will value, respect, and love you for who you are. In fact, you already have people who do!
Lean on your friends and family
It’s important not to isolate yourself from friends and family. Spending time with them will release much-needed feel-good hormones into your system and remind you that you're loved and appreciated.
Take Back Your Power
Maybe he was your best friend, and you thought you had a strong bond. Maybe you invested a lot into the relationship, and you thought it was going somewhere.
Even if things didn’t work out the way you hoped, it's important to stay positive and view this as a minor setback.
Instead of seeing this as one of the most hurtful things you’ve ever experienced, try to see it as a learning experience. Doing so will help you take back your power.