What Are Couple Goals And How Do We Achieve Them?

Caused by the fake world of Instagram, couples all over the world are trying to attain an unrealistic 'ideal.'

From matching outfits and date nights to cute ship names and weird bets, couples all over the world are sharing how they express their love for each other. Netizens have coined these displays 'couple goals', and an increasing number of loved-up duos are scrambling to join the revolution.

Things to know

  • Couple goals are what you and your partner need to do to create the relationship you want.
  • Couple goals help to increase relationship awareness, bring you closer together, and make your relationship thrive.
  • Communication goals include listening to each other, practicing open communication, having difficult conversations, and fighting fair.

We're all for the aesthetics but what matters is how you get along on the other side of the camera. Let's look beyond the trending hashtag and explore what true couple goals are and why you should have them. This is what we'll be looking at:

Building a deeper connection can be as simple as setting aside a few minutes each day to have a meaningful conversation.

What Are Couple Goals?

As relationships increasingly become more about appearances and social media likes, it’s easy to neglect the important things. Couple goals are what you and your partner need to do to create the relationship you want.

Relationship goals are a powerful tool to get and stay on the right track. Because they reflect what you desire most out of romantic relationships, they’re a great way to get you to focus on what matters.

Couple goals also:

Increase relationship awareness

Despite the compatibility that's brought you together, you're still separate individuals with different needs, wants, and ideas about what a relationship means. Couple goals help you bring those differences together.

Bring you closer together

Couple goals make for a powerful bonding experience. They allow you to figure out each other's expectations and reach an understanding. You get to create your relationship standards and work towards maintaining them. This solid foundation will help keep you grounded during tough times.

Make your relationship thrive

As you achieve your relationship goals, you’ll get to experience the relationship you both want. You won’t feel the need for external validation. You’ll relate to each other on a deeper level and enjoy greater relationship security.

Knowing that you can work together to achieve your relationship goals will inspire you to press on when challenges arise. You’ll have the discipline and resolve to continue setting meaningful goals for yourselves, and this will keep your relationship balanced and healthy and exciting.

1. Communication Goals

Great communication makes for an extraordinary relationship. Random text messages won't cut it; here’s how you can dig deeper:

Listen to each other

Give each other your undivided attention and listen to understand. Listening without being judgmental or dismissive is a major part of ensuring you communicate in productive ways. Responding appropriately is another.

Practice open communication

Communicate what you feel need or want clearly to reduce misunderstandings. Focus on using ‘I’ statements instead of accusatory statements like ‘you always’ or ‘you never.’ Avoid being reactive, consider each other's perspectives, and reflect before expressing your thoughts.

Have difficult conversations

Don’t avoid difficult topics like parenting or finances. You probably won’t agree on everything. But, talking about these things will help you figure out the areas where you aren’t compatible. You’ll be able to work on them and reach common ground ahead of time.

Fight fair

Beware of name-calling, insults, and harsh criticism. These negative forms of communication create resentment. They also tend to eat away at the fiber of your connection, weakening intimacy over time.

Stay focused on fixing the issue - attacking each other or bringing up past issues isn't constructive. Fight the problem, not each other. Remember, the goal is to resolve issues amicably.

2. Intimacy Goals

Intimacy involves feeling connected physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. This is how to strengthen your connection:

Develop mutual respect

You're going to have differing views, opinions, and tastes. Make it a priority to treat each other with respect even when you disagree on things. Be considerate of each other's feelings.

Putting each other down or shutting each other out causes deep emotional wounds. You'll lose respect for each other and erode the quality of your connection.

Personal boundaries are also a crucial part of a strong relationship. Without them, resentment can set in and drive a wedge between you. To enjoy greater intimacy, strive to respect each other's boundaries.

Focus on positive interaction

Happy couples are intentional about keeping their interactions positive. Find plenty of moments to laugh together and engage in playful teasing. This isn't to say that you should completely avoid tension.

Sometimes a little conflict can be just what you need to get out of a rut. Pick your battles and be mindful of how you speak to each other.

Positive reinforcement tends to work better than criticism. So focus on praising each other for the behaviors you want to see more of.

Work on your connection

Building a deeper connection can be as simple as setting aside a few minutes each day to have a meaningful conversation. Put away your phones and focus on being present with each other.

Your physical connection can also be deepened by hugging, kissing, cuddling, and holding hands. Allow the power of touch to bring you closer.

Talk about sex

Talking about your sex life is a great way to ensure your relationship stays healthy long after the honeymoon phase fades. Research confirms that couples who have good sex have greater levels of trust, intimacy, and friendship.

Discuss your sexual needs openly and do it as often. Be attentive, considerate, and thoughtful of each other's needs and preferences.

3. Emotional Goals

Emotional connection is the glue that holds a relationship together. Without it, a relationship can feel empty. Don’t settle for anything less than a deep emotional connection. Your relationship will be so much more if you focus on these things:

Be vulnerable with each other

Being vulnerable with each other will result in a deeper bond and greater relationship satisfaction. It allows you to feel safe being your authentic selves.

Vulnerability builds trust between you. It also increases your empathy levels, leading to a stronger bond. You'll have fewer misunderstandings, and you'll be able to show up for each other in meaningful ways.

Be emotionally present

Make understanding and expressing your emotions a priority. This, together with being able to respond to each other's emotional needs, is the key to emotional intimacy.

It's essential to create a safe emotional space where you can discuss relationship dynamics, feelings, and behavior concerns. This means not minimizing each other's emotions or invalidating each other's feelings.

Increase your emotional intelligence

Increasing your emotional intelligence is a great way to explore your emotional landscape. Additionally, you'll be more in tune with your partner's emotions.

4. Romantic Goals

Romance is all about creating anticipation and passion in your relationship. Romance goals are guaranteed to keep things exciting. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Figure out what romance means to you

The key to being romantic is to be attentive, thoughtful, and considerate. Explore what the idea of romance means to each of you and resolve to do that. When you focus on romance, the dedication you feel towards each other will be unmistakable.

Incorporate romance into your daily lives

Continue dating and pursuing each other. Grand gestures like romantic getaways and even small gestures like taking turns to make each other breakfast can keep the romance alive.

Instead of saving romance for Valentine's Day, anniversaries, or each other's birthdays, make it a part of everyday life. Incorporate small habits that express how much you love each other into your day. This could be as simple as praising or kissing each other goodbye every morning.

Understand each other's love languages

Take the time to learn and understand each other's love languages. Simply talk about how you each like to express and receive love or take the official test here.

This valuable information will help you show each other love in meaningful ways. You'll both feel loved, and it'll do wonders for your relationship.

5. Teamwork Goals

Forget about matching outfits; here's what you can do to feel that team spirit:

Be a team

It's about more than simply seeing yourselves as a team. Create a culture of collaboration and support in your relationship. Good teamwork also means not shutting each other out or letting solvable issues create distance between you.

Remember to be mindful of each other's thoughts and feelings: there's no room for selfish or high maintenance — especially when they affect the team.

Focus on the bigger picture

It's not about who does more; it's about being a team and working together. Instead of a transactional relationship where you are both keeping score, focus on the bigger picture.

Sometimes you'll have to be there for your partner, and other times they'll have to be there for you. This is one of the biggest perks of a true partnership: you don't have to go through things alone.

6. Time Goals

Time can be your biggest foe or your greatest ally. Here's how you can make the most of time in your relationship:

Strike a healthy balance

Time management is essential. Planning how to spend your time together will help you make the most of it.

You can't neglect your relationship, and you also can't neglect yourselves. Striking a healthy balance will ensure harmony in your relationship and in your individual lives.

Be intentional about your time

Figure out how to enjoy quality time, downtime, and alone time. Quality time includes activities like dates and outings, while downtime involves rest and vacation time.

Alone time is just as important. It's time you set aside to focus on personal growth and whatever else you want to do. During this time, making plans to see friends or family can benefit your mental health and, ultimately, your relationship.

7. Growth Goals

Maintaining a growth mindset is the key to a fulfilling life. It turns out it's also the secret to a more satisfying relationship.

Grow together

To avoid distance and conflict in your relationship, consider how you can evolve as a couple. Having a shared vision will strengthen your connection and help manifest what you want in life. It will also keep you motivated during hard times.

Growing together is a wonderful way to keep things exciting. So try out new things together. Learn skills like cooking to enhance the quality of your relationship and your daily lives.

Healthy growth also means embracing the fact that you might need professional help from time to time. When things feel shaky, don't hesitate to see a relationship coach or a couples therapist.

Grow as individuals

Your individual goals are just as important as your couple goals. Neglecting them could result in a toxic relationship. A relationship should never stifle you; it should give you the confidence to explore who you are.

Share your personal goals and figure out how you can support each other. Over and above words of encouragement, be willing to invest time and even money into each other's goals.

8. Financial Goals

Fights about money are among the leading causes of break-ups and divorces. It’s wise to get on the same page and set financial goals - especially if things are getting serious. Here are a few ways to improve your financial responsibility.

Discuss your financial views

As you have different backgrounds and upbringings, you’ll have different or even opposing views about money. Create an environment where neither of you feels judged or pressured

Talk about your financial views and come to an understanding of how to manage money in your relationship. Have honest conversations about each other's investment goals, credit, and student loans.

Avoid financial infidelity

Financial infidelity is just as damaging as normal infidelity. It erodes a relationship's trust foundation and leads to resentment, anger, and frustration. Avoid making secret purchases, hiding debts, and lying about income and expenses.

Be honest about your finances. Whether it’s saving more or paying off debt faster, aim to support each other and come out stronger as a couple. If need be, seek professional help.

Improve your financial literacy together

Improving your financial literacy is a great way to grow together. Making smarter choices about budgeting and spending is easier when you both know what you’re doing.

You’re likely to have differing levels of financial literacy, so take the opportunity to learn from each other. You may also want to consider seeing a financial advisor.

9. Short-Term Goals

Short-term goals are a great way to improve the quality of your relationship over a few days or weeks. Take stock of your relationship and figure out your own short-term relationship goals.

What can you do over the next couple of days to bring some much-needed change into your relationship?

It might be booking a session with a relationship coach or even attending couples therapy. It might even be as simple as planning a romantic evening to spend some quality time together.

10. Long-Term Goals

Where do you see yourselves in 5 years? How about in 10? Whether you’re a married couple or in a serious relationship, long-term goals are the best way to keep you on the right track.

No two relationships are the same, so you need to decide what your goals are as a couple. If you set goals based on what you see on social media, you're going to be disappointed. Be realistic in your goal setting and come up with long-term goals that reflect your true desires.

Crush Your Goals

Join the fun on social media but remember to focus on your own relationship goals. As with anything worth achieving, consistency is key. Crush your goals and create the relationship of your dreams.

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