We all go through times when we question if the person we chose to spend forever with is actually our life partner. Whether or not you believe in soul mates or fairy tales, chances are you want to know that you made the right choice by marrying your spouse.
Consider the following:
Things to know
- Do you laugh, have lots of fun, and feel like the best version of yourself when you're together? Do you seek and receive their support when you're going through a tough time?
- If you've said yes to these two aspects, you're probably in a very happy marriage compared to many other couples.
- Nevertheless, there are always going to be things that dissatisfy you. You've got to work out how important these negatives are and whether they're worth losing your marriage over.
If you're worried that you made a mistake, hopefully, these signs you married the right person will help you remember why you committed yourself to your spouse for the long haul.
In this article, we’ll cover 11 of the most obvious signs you married the right person:
- You never dread their company
- You trust them completely
- They listen more than they talk
- They're the first person you share your news with
- You support each other
- Your fights ultimately bring you closer together
- They get just as excited about your achievements as you do
- They make you laugh
- You are both still individuals outside of the relationship
- They bring out the best in you
- They make you happy
1. You never dread their company
If you talk to couples who have remained married for over 30 years, most of them will tell you they never grow tired of each other, no matter how much time they spend together.
In fact, most experts say quality time is a key ingredient for a successful marriage. However, it's hard to maintain that quality time if you don't enjoy your partner's company. You want your marriage partner to feel like your best friend, not your enemy.
While that's not to say you need to spend every single second of every single day together, you should at least cherish the moments you spend together, no matter how trivial they seem. You should enjoy the date nights you plan, the quiet mornings where you sip your coffee and say nothing at all, and everything in between.
In other words, if you relish every moment you spend with your spouse, then chances are you have a healthy relationship and married the right person.
2. You trust them completely
A lack of trust can be another issue that destroys even the most serious relationship. In fact, some experts say trust-related issues account for as much as 40 percent of all divorces. While a lack of trust can absolutely be a red flag for your relationship, your ability to trust your partner can also be a sign that you have a healthy relationship with your partner.
Trust requires you to blindly put your faith in another person. It means you believe what they say, and you hold them to the commitments they make to you. For a married couple, trust includes everything from sharing secrets with each other to believing what your partner says when they tell you about their day. In fact, couples have to trust each other in many ways, and that can feel overwhelming at times.
However, any successful marriage requires blind trust, and if you feel like you can trust your partner completely, then you've definitely married the right person.
3. They listen more than they talk
A serious relationship is about giving and taking, including when it comes to conversation. Most of the time, your spouse's ability to listen is an important factor in why you ultimately end up with them.
When we listen to our partners, it shows them we care about them, respect them, and find what they have to say important. Active listening requires practice and careful attention, but it's such an important part of any happy relationship.
Most of the time, happy couples say they each feel like the other person listens more than they talk. They say that this helps them feel like they matter to their partner, which makes them feel truly loved. If you feel like your spouse truly listens to you, then you definitely have a healthy relationship.
4. They're the first person you share your news with
While most single women run to their mother or their best friend with important news, most married couples reserve the first share for their partner. They're usually the most important person in your life, and they should be your biggest cheerleader and supporter.
Therefore, whether you have an important decision to make or you just had an amazing day, your spouse should be the first one you share the news with. When we marry someone, we commit ourselves to them no matter what is going on in our lives.
Our partner should be our confidant, our sounding board, and our source of comfort in all aspects of our life. If you feel scared to talk to your partner about something or you don't feel like you can truly confide in them, then that's a pretty big indication that you picked the wrong person to spend your life with.
5. You support each other
From the struggles all college graduates and young adults go through to the battles most aging adults face, married couples pledge to support each other no matter what. However, the strains of family life, financial stress, and life, in general, can impact a couple's ability to remain supportive and in love.
Regardless of what storms cross your path, though, you and your partner's ability to stand united and support each other speaks volumes to the true love you share. It's a big deal to stand beside someone even in the difficult times and come out the other side still committed to each other, especially in this day in age.
Even when your marriage certificate stands as a symbol of your commitment, not all couples are willing to go through tough times together.
You may not always like the decisions your spouse makes, and they may not always have the energy to move mountains for you. However, if you feel like you and your partner make a concerted effort to support each other through it all, then they're probably the right one for you.
6. Your fights ultimately bring you closer together
Conflict resolution is another key ingredient to a happy marriage. After all, most of us make certain promises to each other during our marriage ceremony, and these promises include loving each other no matter what — and that includes when you disagree.
If you married as a young person, chances are you hadn't really dealt with any major conflicts before your marriage. While every couple fights from time to time, you can definitely tell whether you married the right or wrong person based on how they handle the conflicts you do have.
In an ideal marriage, couples can disagree without it becoming a full-fledged brawl in the living room. Furthermore, partners who truly love each other are willing to work through conflicts and either come to some sort of compromise or let the argument go with the decision to "agree to disagree".
In many cases, partners even learn something from each other in the process, and these conflicts help them grow as individuals and as a couple. Although this seems counter-intuitive, fights aren’t always a bad thing. If you and your spouse come out of most disagreements as a strong, united team, then you've probably married the right person.
7. They get just as excited about your achievements as you do
When you really love someone, you want to see them succeed. You want them to feel fulfilled and achieve their dreams, even if they don't always make sense to you. Unfortunately, this can be a difficult thing for some partners, especially a young man who believes he should be the most successful one in the marriage.
So, ask yourself these questions:
- Does your spouse seem genuinely excited when you achieve something in your personal or professional life?
- Is your partner your biggest supporter and cheerleader in life?
- Does your spouse seem unphased when you outshine them in your career or at home?
If the answer to these questions is a resounding "Yes!" you've absolutely married the right person.
8. They make you laugh
They say laughter is the best medicine. Even if it doesn't keep you physically healthy all the time, though, laughter is 100 percent a clear sign of a healthy relationship. In fact, studies have shown that the couple who laughs together, stays together.
When you imagined your future spouse as a young person, you probably didn't think about how important laughter would be in your relationship. However, your spouse is likely a source of laughter for you, no matter what's going on in your life. They can usually help you see the positive side of things, and you often share so many inside jokes that you lost count at some point.
Usually, even on the worst days, your partner knows exactly what to say to make you smile and laugh. If your partner makes you laugh frequently, then you've probably picked the right person to spend the rest of your life with. If nothing else, you will always be giggling.
9. You are both still individuals outside of the relationship
While quality time is definitely a key ingredient to a happy marriage, all couples need to spend time apart sometimes. Unfortunately, controlling or jealous partners have a hard time with this because they can't keep tabs on you or dictate your every move. In fact, many people say having a partner who refuses to leave your side can be a serious red flag.
Conversely, if your spouse is fine with you going out to bars with your single friends or spending a weekend in New York City with your mom, then chances are you've picked a good one.
Any serious relationship requires a balance of commitment to one another and commitment to yourselves as individuals. Even after your marriage ceremony, you and your spouse should still stand as individual people who are simply united as a couple.
You should each maintain your own identity, your own hobbies, and your own friends. After all, you are a human being, not simply an extension of your spouse. So, think about who you are outside of your marriage. If you can do this, then you have a healthy couple dynamic.
10. They bring out the best in you
In most healthy relationships, partners lift each other up, not bring each other down. While this often means they support you and want the best for you, it can also mean they push you to new limits, challenge you to make progress or hold you to high standards they know you can meet.
In other words, your spouse should be the one helping you become the best version of yourself because they love you. However, there's a fine line between pushing you towards improvement and pushing you too far.
So, if your partner makes you feel bad about yourself or pushes you to your limits more often than not, that's a big red flag that you are with the wrong person. Also, family members are a good barometer of whether or not your partner brings out the best in you, so don't be afraid to ask them if you have doubts.
If you feel like you constantly reach your goals and life keeps getting better and better, then it's highly likely that you've found the right guy or gal for you.
11. They make you happy
As you can tell, there are lots of indicators that you're in a healthy marriage. However, one of the biggest signs that you've found true love is less about measurable means and more about how your partner makes you feel on a daily basis. After all, you want a life partner who makes you feel good, not bad, don't you?
So think about how your spouse makes you feel. Does being around them make you happy? Do you get excited when they return home from work? Do they compliment you and make you feel loved no matter what? If so, then you've found the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with.
If your partner doesn't make you happy, then you may need to take a step back and ask yourself why. While all couples go through rough patches every once in a while, relationships that are meant to last can weather these storms and rediscover marital bliss in time.
Have You Married The Right Person?
Hopefully, this guide has helped you answer the question you asked when you came and helped you see just how compatible you and your partner truly are. The longer you remain married to someone, the harder it can be to remember the small things, but chances are you married them for the exact qualities mentioned above.
Just remember that any relationship, even the best marriage in the world, takes time and effort from both you and your spouse. So, if you feel like the flame is blowing out, look for some ways to rekindle it and remind each other exactly why you ended up together so you can enjoy the rest of your lives together as soul mates.
At the end of the day, that's all any of us truly want, isn't it?