One of my favorite parts of the intricate world of dating is the way that body language plays such a huge role. What I find most shocking is the fact that we almost always overlook it.
I mean, it's understandable that when talking about dating our minds go straight to: 'What should I say? How should I say it?'. Plus, it's so easy to forget that there's a whole art form of attraction techniques out there that can seriously level up your dating game.
Things to know
- Body language plays a crucial role in dating and attraction, but is often overlooked in favor of verbal communication.
- Small gestures and nonverbal cues can have a big impact on attraction, and can be adapted to suit different personality types or situations.
- Confidence is key in attractive body language, and can be expressed through open posture, consistent eye contact, and reserved facial expressions.
Non-verbal communication in any social interaction can be difficult to get the hang of. Especially if you're trying to reel in a potential partner or increase your sexual attractiveness.
We all give off different vibes naturally through our body language and nonverbal cues. For example, back in my bartender days, I realized that strong eye contact, a genuine smile, and a relaxed and bouncy posture reeled in the tips a lot faster than if I reduced my physical size into a hunched little ball.
Even small gestures can be as loud as thunder if you're confident in your approach.
People's body language tends to adapt depending on context and how they're feeling. You may be unintentionally giving off the wrong vibes if you happen to be in a crappy mood or have social anxiety.
Either way, knowing more about attractive body language will give you a little more control over how your body reacts to being around someone whose bones you (respectfully) want to jump.
Maybe you just want to know of all the smarty pants psychological ways you can attract a potential partner with nothing but your mere presence.
In this post, you’ll learn a few simple strategies to boost your attractiveness vibes into overdrive:
- Body Language For Different Personality Types
- Confident People
- Introverted People
- Turning Up The Volume
- The Takeaway
Body Language For Different Personality Types
There are many different ways a person might want to present themselves.
What you and I find attractive is definitely going to be different, and might even be worlds apart.
So why would we all want to give off the exact same body language when we have different crushes in mind? We can easily adapt our body language to suit different moods or types of people. Genius right?!
Let's break down the range of body language types and how to adopt them.
Being confident is the most recommended tip when it comes to attractive body language. If you're adopting confident body language then you're going to be attracting other confident and bold individuals that can bounce off your vibes.
We've all heard of the firm handshake and upright posture advice from our parents when we went to our first job interview, but how do you translate those confident first impression tips to dating?
This could look like the easily relaxed 'spreading your arms across the back of the sofa to foster closeness' move. Or something a little less corny; resting your forearms across a table, leaning into it with your upper body, and tilting your neck to the side.
Think of the cool, suave bartender that instantly makes you feel comfortable enough to open up about your entire life story.
Eye contact is the pinnacle of confidence. Maintaining consistent eye contact is going to show the other person you're interested in what they're saying and that you're eager to engage with them.
It feels gratifying for the other person and has the potential to create feelings of intimacy and bonding. Even better, eye contact is something we humans can find a little awkward or intense to do at times, so powering through and asserting yourself as someone who can do it without embarrassment is super attractive to a lot of people.
It makes you seem trustworthy, dominant, and present.
Reserved facial expressions
I know what you're going to say, exaggerated facial expressions scream confidence, right? Wrong. Real confidence isn't just about what you're displaying outwardly, but having a sense of self inwardly.
If you don't find that guy's joke funny, don't just smile and laugh for the sake of it. Embody that confidence by utilizing the disapproving but playful eyebrow raise, or the half-smile that says 'god, that was bad but you're cute'.
Reserving your overly positive facial expressions can create the urge to want to impress you and really earn that big, gorgeous grin.
This is seriously attractive in the face of people that like the chase. Remember to keep it playful though, to avoid hurting feelings or coming off as actually kind of cold.
You'll want to avoid darting your gaze in all directions. You want to remain confident in where you're looking or what you're looking at and try not to let yourself get distracted by whatever might be going on in the background.
It's incredibly attractive when someone is clearly present and 'in the moment' with another person because you can't beat undivided attention!
On the other hand, you could utilize background activity by very occasionally averting your gaze to something else close by, mid-conversation.
It puts you in a position of control over the conversation when they inevitably try and pull your focus back onto them, and a little dose of aloof confidence can be a major point of attractiveness for some.
What if you're a shy type or want to attract a more reserved or quiet type? Someone who is more introverted, timid, or even has some level of social anxiety may well want to be with someone like them.
It's not crazy to think this personality type might find themselves repelled by the daring and direct attitudes of the confident bunch. So, what subtle body language techniques might attract a shyer person?
The subtlety of this tip never fails to amaze me.
Interestingly, mirrored movements are something that can subconsciously occur between two people who have some level of romantic attraction. But if you consciously choose to mimic someone else's body language you're going to be sending the message that you're into them, and create the potential to appear more attractive and available as a potential partner.
Now, don't take this to mean that you should partake in a long-lasting and intense game of Simon Says with them, as that'll probably freak them out a little.
But mimicking their hand gestures, facial expressions or even tone of voice can put you in a position to subtly create a connection and bond with them on a subconscious level, thereby making you a more attractive romantic candidate.
Physical contact for introverts
I'm not talking anything too 'out there' here. Remember, this is to appear or appeal to more reserved individuals, so heavy petting under the table at TGI Fridays probably isn't the best way to go about it.
A good approach would be to show your openness by sitting close to your love interest, resting your head on their shoulder, or using light, playful physical contact like nudging that guy at work to get their attention when speaking to them rather than calling their name.
This gives off quite a 'cute', submissive vibe that may even mesh well with a more dominant personality or appeal nicely to someone that is attracted to fellow subtle and bashful personality types. That nervous playfulness is quite often perceived as attractive and sweet to the right crowd!
Turning Up The Volume
Say you're not looking for a long-term love interest and just want something more casual, maybe you want to adapt your body language to better suit picking up people at a bar or club.
Well great news, unsurprisingly body language is the best tool on your belt for avoiding some of the talking and getting straight to the good stuff. Ever heard the phrase talking with your eyes? Well, this is what it really means:
Talk with your eyes
No literally, the eyes are the window to the soul. So, if you're sitting across from the person you're trying to attract, lower your head down and look directly up at them.
If you've got nothing but lust on your mind, they are more than likely going to fall into your trap of seduction. Do that in the mirror right now and tell me you don't want to jump on yourself. Bonus points if you add in a cheeky lip bite too, a message very much received.
Suggestive body language
This one is quite literal. People by nature are generally very sexually-driven creatures, so drawing attention to your sexuality and certain body parts is going to increase your attractiveness to anyone interested in you.
Opening up your body by pushing your shoulders back to accentuate your chest, parting your thighs with inviting intentions, and even opening your mouth to play with a straw or suggestively eat something (fruit or lollipops would be my suggestion) draws attention your intimate areas and increases your attractiveness to someone sexually into you.
Fair warning though, don't do this with strangers that have shown zero sexual interest in you, that's how you get on a law enforcement list and I don't condone that. So, stick with actual potential hookups!
A world away from the physical contact I described in the 'shy' portion of this article, if you're trying to adopt more sensual body language then you're going to want to focus it, very literally, on sex.
As I said before, this is only appropriate with clear enthusiastic consent so bear that in mind. Sex-focused physical contact is going to look like hands-on thighs, your chest pushed against their body, trailing your fingers down their arm, or through their hair teasingly.
It's always attractive to highlight your sexuality and create a suggestive vibe with a partner.
Tone of voice
For whatever reason, a lower-pitched voice in men is seen as more masculine and attractive to women, while a higher-pitched voice in women is seen as a pinnacle of femininity.
Use that information to your advantage if you're trying to increase your sexual attractiveness. Next time you're vibing with a hookup, tune into that biological sex weapon of a voice and appeal to their simple human nature.
But please, please keep it realistic. I know we've all seen those TikToks of people forcing a voice and you definitely don't want to end up at the top of Reddit's r/Cringe. That will not get you any attraction points.
All of these techniques of nonverbal communication are a fantastic way to play around with the kind of message you're putting out there to potential partners. It's also handy to read your partners body language to tell if they like you back
The best part is probably that online dating profiles practically surpass all other forms of meeting people, so you can incorporate all kinds of body language into your photos as a first impression of attraction. Whip out the techniques on your first date too and your attractive levels will go through the roof.
Verbal communication is crucial too, you can't solely rely on your sparkling gaze and sultry smile to get you where you want to go. But combing your stellar conversational skills with a little hit of psychology can open up a whole host of new dating doors.
The mind and body are wonderful things and we far too often forget what a little knowledge and strategy can do for us. Even small gestures can be as loud as thunder if you're confident in your approach.