It’s hard to get through a breakup.
Sometimes, both of you hold onto hopes of getting back together down the road. Other times, only one person wants to work things out.
When you part ways, it can be difficult to accept that things are really over. Mixed signals, conflicted feelings, and rebounds with your ex can complicate things even more.
Things to know
- If you hurt him badly, or if he has moved on and seems happier than ever, there’s a chance that he will never come back.
- Being guarded, avoiding eye contact, negative body language, not flirting, not sharing his feelings, ignoring you, giving back your belongings, deleting pictures, blocking you on social media, and being mean are all signs that he won't be back.
- If he wants to come back, you'll notice positive signs such as wanting to stay friends, checking in on you, flirting with you or telling you he misses you.
With all this confusion, how can you tell if there’s still a chance that he will come back? And how do you know if he’s already moved on for good?
Luckily, there are signs to look for that will show you exactly what he’s thinking. Here are the 24 clearest signals that his mind is made up and he is never coming back:
- He Seems Guarded
- He Avoids Eye Contact
- His Body Language Changes
- He Stops Flirting
- He Stops Sharing His Feelings
- He Stops Replying
- He Gives Back Your Stuff
- He Deletes Your Pictures
- He Blocks You
- He’s Being Mean
- He’s Not There For You
- He Avoids You
- He Avoids Your Friends
- You’re No Longer A Priority
- He Tells You To Move On
- He’s Not Jealous Of You
- He’s Dating Someone New
- He’s Getting Married
- He Moves Away
- He Seems Happier Than Ever
- It’s Been A While
- You Hurt Him Badly
- He Was Abusive To You
- You Have A Gut Feeling
1. He Seems Guarded
Things between you always used to be wide open. The trust was strong, and he wore his heart on his sleeve. Now? He’s closed off and guarded. You can’t tell what he’s thinking, and his true feelings are a mystery to you. If his behavior is suddenly stiff and serious, that’s an obvious sign that his heart has hardened towards you.
2. He Avoids Eye Contact
The eyes are the window to the soul. If his eyes are shuttered, they’re sending you a message: he’s not emotionally available. Intense eye contact is the biggest sign of romantic interest and sexual attraction. Once he drops his gaze, you can assume that he’s not keen on reigniting the flame.
3. His Body Language Changes
When a guy is attracted to you, he wants to be as close to your body as possible. He leans in, touches your knee, and keeps himself turned in your direction. His posture is a dead giveaway about how much he’s into you. If his body language is distant and cold, that is a big sign he isn’t willing to give you a second chance.
4. He Stops Flirting
If there’s a possibility of a rebound relationship for you two, expect the spark to stay alive. Flirty messages, intense eye contact, and late-night text messages all indicate romantic attraction. Even after a breakup, if the spark between you is still alive, then the flirting will be, too.
When that steamy chemistry disappears and is replaced with polite distance, you can take it as a clear sign that he’s not looking to give your past relationship a fresh start.
5. He Stops Sharing His Feelings
Emotional intimacy is just as important as physical touch in a romantic relationship. You are the first person your partner turns to when they need a shoulder to cry on and the last person they want to talk to before they go to bed.
If your ex-boyfriend no longer leans on you when he’s feeling down, that’s a clear indication that he doesn’t see you the same way he used to. When the deep conversations shift into small talk, your love life is likely hanging by a thread.
6. He Stops Replying
Maybe you agreed to stay in touch after parting ways. In those first few weeks, the texts and phone calls will probably be as frequent as ever. But if his response times to your messages start getting longer and longer, it’s not a good sign.
When he stops replying altogether, that’s when you know for sure that it’s over. A guy who still wants to be with you will always answer your text messages. After he’s decided that it’s time to leave you behind, don’t expect an answer if you keep reaching out.
7. He Gives Back Your Stuff
Leaving your sweatshirt at his house is like putting up a sign that you are in a committed relationship. If he sends it back, that is a symbolic gesture that he has officially moved on.
Maybe it’s too painful for him to hold onto the reminders of your past relationship and he is returning your things for the sake of his mental health. But there are better chances that he just doesn’t feel attached to you anymore. Now that he is your ex-boyfriend, he doesn’t want any sign of you in his personal space.
8. He Deletes Your Pictures
His social media accounts can also give big hints about his true feelings. When you were together, he was constantly posting cute couples' pictures of you. Shots of you two on date nights, sweet anniversary captions, and inside jokes filled his profile.
But now that your relationship status has changed, so have his social media posts. Once he starts removing photo evidence of your lost love, you can bet that any chance of getting back together has permanently passed.
9. He Blocks You
An even more obvious sign that he’s done with the past? He blocks you on social media. You can’t find his page no matter how hard you try, and he doesn’t follow yours anymore. If you try to give him a phone call and find the line won’t ring, it’s safe to assume that your number has been hit, too.
These things mean he does not want to see or hear from you and is making a fresh start. If you think that you can still save the relationship after being blocked, you’re holding onto false hope.
10. He’s Being Mean
Say goodbye to sweet nothings. If your ex starts acting like a different person, it’s time to let him go. When he stops being sensitive to your feelings, your healthy relationship is pretty much dead.
Harsh words said in the heat of the moment can’t be taken back. He’s either showing you his true colors or trying to break the attachment that he can sense you still feel towards him. Either way, if he’s being mean to you, assume he means it and leave him and his emotional abuse behind.
11. He’s Not There For You
In a serious relationship, you and your partner love and support each other unconditionally in times of need. After breaking up, he might even make sure you are doing okay if he still has feelings for you.
So if you are struggling and your ex-boyfriend is nowhere to be found, he probably doesn’t see himself as your point person anymore. When he stops checking in on you during hard times, it’s a big sign that his love has gone out the window.
12. He Avoids You
When a man is actively avoiding you, it’s hard to interpret that any other way than a sign that he doesn’t want to get back together. An ex that is holding onto hope will try to remain a small part of your life one way or another.
If you find that he is no longer frequenting your favorite spots around town or turns in the other direction when he sees you walking his way, take notice. It probably means he wants nothing to do with you.
13. He Avoids Your Friends
An even more obvious sign that he’s over it? He’s avoiding your friends, too. That type of behavior is a clear indication that he wants no part of you or your social circle anymore.
Talk to a mutual friend or family member and see if their experience is the same as yours. If they feel snubbed by your ex, he means business. When a guy starts burning bridges, you can bet that he’s not interested in repairing yours.
14. You’re No Longer A Priority
Remember the days when your relationship was new, and your beau canceled plans just to see you? When a guy really wants to be with you, he'll put you first, no matter what.
As soon as he moves you to the bottom of the list, you should take it as a warning that he doesn’t value the relationship anymore. If he flakes on plans with you to hang out with his buddies instead, he may as well be telling you to move on with your life.
15. He Tells You To Move On
If your ex actually says you need to move on, then don’t doubt his words. He’s not playing around. Trying to read between the lines will only be a waste of your precious time.
Asking your ex-girlfriend to look for a new relationship is almost impossible if you are still in love with her. If a guy is telling you to get over it, take it as the clearest sign possible that he has already done the same.
16. He’s Not Jealous Of You
If you do meet someone new, you might want your ex to hear about it. Maybe you are trying to make him jealous or just want him to know that you can find someone else.
Any guy who still wants to get back together with his ex-girlfriend would be bothered by seeing her with another man. So if he seems genuinely happy for you, he might be gone for good. Even worse? If he acts like he doesn’t care at all, then it’s almost a sure bet that he will never come back to you.
17. He’s Dating Someone New
If you haven’t moved on yet but find out your ex already dating someone else, then it’s time to get going. If he is in a healthy relationship, he is almost definitely not even thinking about you anymore. His full focus will be on the new woman in his life.
As painful as it is, once you see that your former flame is with a different person, you need to respect their new relationship and give up any hope.
18. He’s Getting Married
Sure, you can try to rationalize that your ex getting a new girl is just a phase. It’s not unusual to hold onto false hope that he will realize how much better you are and come running back. But if he’s put a ring on someone else’s finger, kiss your fantasies goodbye.
When your ex proposes to a different person, you need to push through all the negative emotions and accept that you are no longer part of his future. He sees you as a lover from the past, and that’s all you’ll ever be. Don’t waste your time fighting for an engaged man.
19. He Moves Away
A man who is making a fresh start isn’t likely to look over his shoulder at your past relationship. If your ex got himself a new job in a new city, he is long gone.
Trying different things is a sign of starting over. Once he’s gone, your chances leave with him. Now that he has moved away, you are out of sight and out of mind. He’s literally moving on without you—it’s probably time that you consider doing the same.
20. He Seems Happier Than Ever
It hurts to see your ex happy without you. But if that’s the case, take note. If he's committing to his personal development, he is rebuilding a personal identity that does not include you.
Your breakup set him on the right track, and he’s becoming a better person for it. As soon as he sees the positive side effects of losing your love, you can be sure he won’t want to return to the thing that was holding him back.
21. It’s Been A While
It’s natural to dream of fixing things with your boyfriend after a recent breakup. There’s always a small hope that he’ll realize he’s made a huge mistake and ask you to try again. But if the split isn’t fresh anymore, you might be hanging on longer than is healthy.
How long is too long? There’s no right answer, but a good place to start is to ask a trusted friend or family member if they think it’s time for you to move on.
They will know if you are being realistic about the romance or dragging out a dead relationship. Another good rule of thumb: if it’s been six months or more, your chances of getting back together are probably pretty slim.
22. You Hurt Him Badly
Sometimes, our own past mistakes come back to haunt us. If you did something hurtful that ended the relationship, chances are your ex wants to keep his distance from you for good. Saying cruel things or betraying his trust can drive your ex away.
Even if you felt like a different person and apologized to him, it's unlikely that he'll be willing to let someone who did so much damage back into his life. If this is the case, learn from your loss and let him go.
23. He Was Abusive To You
As much as you loved your boyfriend, if it wasn’t a healthy relationship, it's probably not one to rescue.
Emotional abuse can bind you to the wrong person. For some reason, we find ourselves seeking the approval of people who treat us poorly. Abusers know this and use it to their advantage. But after you break up, they will sense they have lost control of you and quickly move on to their next victim.
In this situation, he is only in the relationship for the illusion of power and won’t want to return to an ex-girlfriend that made him feel weak. Realize this, and you'll find a better guy to date.
24. You Have A Gut Feeling
The biggest sign that your ex-boyfriend is never coming back is knowing it deep down. Your gut never lies. Even if you are still in love with him, if you can feel in the bottom of your heart that the relationship is over, don’t resist.
Trying to force a love that isn’t meant to be will not get you any place worth being. If you have a gut feeling that his heart is truly closed off to you, trust it and move forward without pining.
5 Signs He Will Still Come Back
But what if deep down in your heart, you truly feel that he still has love for you? It can be difficult to know the difference between wishful thinking and what is meant to be.
The last thing you want to do is waste your time fighting for a guy who has already moved on without you or develop a case of oneitis.
If his love for you is still in there somewhere, he will show it with these 5 signs:
- He Wants To Stay Friends
- He Still Needs You
- He Checks In On You
- He Flirts Back
- He Says He Misses You
1. He Wants To Stay Friends
Any guy who is truly over his ex-girlfriend has no interest in remaining friends with her. Talking on the phone, hanging out on weekends, and generally being in each other’s lives all drag out your deeper feelings of love for one another. It’s nearly impossible to fully move on when you are staying in touch regularly.
When a guy doesn’t go away quietly, it could be a sign that he is clinging to hope that you two will work things out and try again. He knows that he will have a much better chance of winning you back if he stays in your life on some level, even if only as a friend.
2. He Still Needs You
Another signal that he wants you back is that he still calls you up for support. When your ex needs advice, does he turn to you? If he is having a bad day, are you the person he wants to see? Does he show up at your door unannounced after getting bad news?
If the answer is yes, then that means he still sees you as a hugely important person in his life. He clearly hasn’t stopped looking to you for guidance and love. If this is the case, it doesn’t take a huge stretch of the imagination to assume that he's not ready to lose you just yet.
3. He Checks In On You
When a man genuinely cares about you, it isn’t one-sided. If he is still in love with you, your ex will want to check in on your feelings, too. He can’t stop thinking about you, or how that new job is going. He will ask about your family and follow up about your mental health.
No matter what your relationship looks like, if he never stopped loving you then he will show it.
4. He Flirts Back
If you’re sensing that he might still have feelings for you, test the waters with a little flirting. He might get uncomfortable and politely pull back. This would mean that as much as he likes you, he really doesn’t want to be with you romantically anymore. But if he flirts back? You’re in business.
Sometimes all a man needs is an open door to see that he still has a chance with you. Sending him a risky text can be all the invitation he needs to try and win you back.
5. He Says He Misses You
There’s no better sign that a man will come back to you than his word. If you are both feeling the same way, you might not even have to fight for him. Instead, he'll reach out on his own and tell you that he misses you.
When he swallows his pride and says he wants you back despite all the past mistakes, know that he means it. A guy who has fully moved on would never spend his energy pouring his heart out like that.
There comes a time when every couple has to decide if the future is worth fighting for. When you have a long history together, it can be difficult to accept that going your separate ways is the best thing to do.
It’s even harder when one person has moved on and the other is still stuck in the past, wanting to get their ex back.
Sometimes, we are blinded by our feelings. We can’t let go, even when deep down we know it’s right. But for the sake of your peace, you have to know if the hope of getting back together is truly realistic.
If it is, tell them how you feel.
And if it’s not?
It’s time to cut the cord and give yourself permission to move forward without the ghost of the past.