15 Clear Signs He Wants You Sexually Plus 4 Red Flags

When you really like a guy, the last thing you want to do is misread the signs and make things awkward. If you're wondering how to tell if he wants you badly or if he even wants you at all, you're in luck. I'll be breaking down all the little things you should pay attention to.

Things to know

  • If he offers to give you a massage or makes any kind of physical advance, he's probably wanting to get you into bed.
  • If he wants to act like a hero and impress you at work or in front of friends, he's probably hoping you'll find him sexually attractive.
  • Eye contact is always a not-so-secret giveaway clue.

Buckle up; here’s what we’ll cover:

Sure-Fire Signs He Wants You In Bed

To know if he wants you badly sexually, look out for the following signs:

1. He tries to get you alone

Undoubtedly, the most obvious way to tell if he wants you badly is if he's always trying to get you alone. If he's inviting you to his place for a "Netflix and Chill" or promising to show off his cooking skills, he wants to make sure he has you all to himself.

2. He drops not-so-subtle hints

Does every conversation seem to get a little naughty? Are you constantly talking about each other's sexual fantasies? Even when you try to change the topic, does he go back to innuendos and raunchy topics? If so, he wants you badly, and he's dropping not-so-subtle hints about it.

3. He offers to massage you

Massages are a great way to build sexual tension. Cue romantic music and you've got the perfect setting for a 'happy ending.' Offering to massage you is a sneaky way to get you in the mood for more. If he's pulling this particular trick, he wants you badly.

4. He tries to make you laugh

Humor plays an important role in sexual selection, and women tend to find men who can make them laugh more attractive. In other words, if he tries to make you laugh, he finds you attractive.

Now, if his humor is on the dirty side, that tells you exactly where his head is at. All that joking around is to get you to loosen up and let go of your inhibitions. It’s also a good way for him to gauge if there is good chemistry between you. He knows that if you laugh along, chances are you’re interested, too.

5. He buys you lingerie

He isn’t making a trip to the lingerie store because he knows how much you appreciate a well-fitting lace bra. No, he’s doing it for entirely selfish reasons. Gifting you lingerie is basically him saying, “I think you’re sexy! Can I see you in this?” Needless to say, he wants you badly.

6. He can't keep away

An obvious sign that he really wants you is if he’s excited to spend all of his time with you. When you’re more than a one-night stand to him, he’ll carve out time to do other things. He'll schedule dates and plan outings just to spend quality time with you outside the bedroom.

7. He wants to know everything about you

You'll fascinate a man who sees you as long-term relationship material. He'll take every opportunity to figure out what makes you tick. If he's asking you deep questions about your childhood or the things you enjoy doing, he wants to get to know you on a deeper level.

8. His hero instinct kicks in

When he’s willing to unleash his inner hero, he really likes you. His willingness to make your life easier is a clear sign of investment. Men feel the need to protect and provide for their loved ones. So, if he's already taking care of you, you're important to him.

For a deeper understanding and mastery of triggering the Hero Instinct, we suggest watching "His Secret Obsession". This program unveils a secret signal that activates this instinct in him, making you the focal point of his world.

Look past the title; "His Secret Obsession" offers valuable guidance for single women seeking to build relationships with high-value men. It's a powerful resource for anyone aiming to enrich their current relationship or embark on a new one.

9 He wants to impress you

A man who wants to impress you sees himself with you for the long haul. When he cares about impressing you, he’ll want to do that in the bedroom too. This means he's likely to ask you questions about your sexual desires and make‌ an effort to satisfy you.

10. He lets you know where you stand

One-night stands and ‘situationships’ all have one thing in common: they leave you with lots of questions about where you stand with a man. When he wants you for more than just your body, he'll make his intentions clear. You won't have to guess where you stand with him. He won't anybody else to have you, so he doesn't lose you.

11. He respects you

When he finds you irresistible, he'll value your perspective on things. He'll seek your advice on important matters and ask for your opinion. Simply put, if he respects you, he's serious about you.

12. He wants to show you off

You'll know he really cares about you if he shows you off to his co-workers, friends, and family members. He's also likely to take his efforts over to social media. Sharing photos of you together and letting the world know you're his girl is a sure sign that he's pushing for a serious, committed relationship.

13. He doesn't avoid PDA

A man who is stringing you along simply won't have the desire to claim you as his own—especially if he's a player. Because he's always on the prowl for other women, he'll avoid public displays of affection, like holding your hand or kissing you.

If he's genuinely into you, whether you're alone or out in public — he simply won't be able to keep his hands off you.

14. He's affectionate outside the bedroom

Being able to show you affection without expecting it to lead to any kind of sexual activity is a telltale sign that he truly cares about you.

15. He wants to make you happy

If he's in deep, he'll do anything to see you smile. Hearing you laugh will fill him with pride. Wanting to make you happy is a clear sign that you mean the world to him.

Hints That Show He Secretly Wants You

Okay, so maybe he isn't being very forthcoming about his feelings. If you're wondering if he secretly wants you, certain things will reveal his intentions. Things like:

His body language

Whether he's the shy type or simply waiting for the right time to make a move, his body language will give him away. If you want to know if he secretly wants you, pay attention to his posture.

The direction of his torso plays an important role in expressing interest. If his belly faces towards you, he's into you. Take note of his shoulders, hips, and feet, too. If they're angled towards you as well, he's definitely feeling you.

If he's standing tall with his hands on his hips, he's in the classic flirting power pose. He's drawing attention to his physical traits and subconsciously displaying his best assets.

He speaks in a deeper voice when you're around

If his voice gets deeper when you're around, he's attracted to you. Speaking in a low-pitched voice is a way to show off his masculinity. It's also an attempt to make himself more desirable.

His eyes give him away

If he's smitten, his eyes will light up when he looks at you. Pupil dilation is another clue to watch for. If he likes what he's seeing, his pupils will dilate. If he's making eye contact and holding your gaze intently, he wants you.

He finds excuses to touch you

Finding excuses to touch you is a sure sign that he wants you—especially if you seem to be the only one getting that sort of attention from him. He might brush against you or lightly touch your arm when he's talking.

He mirrors you

When we're with someone we really like, we tend to mirror them involuntarily. If he’s mirroring your body language and the way you speak, he’s definitely into you.

He pays attention to the little things

If he's always the first person to compliment you on a new outfit or hairstyle, he's paying extra attention. You can be sure a man who notices little things like changes to your nail color isn't doing it for interest's sake; he's crushing on you hard.

Signs He Wants To Touch You

Before things can heat up, he knows he has to break the touch barrier first. So here’s how to tell if he wants to touch you:

He fidgets around

If he can't seem to keep still, he might be trying to distract himself. Fidgeting, hand movements, and shifting are all subtle signs that you make him a little nervous. These are known as displacement activities, and they suggest that he simply can't wait to touch you.

He touches himself

If he's attracted to you, he might stroke his cheek, touch his ears or rub his chin. These are all subconscious gestures that are meant to release pheromones. They also communicate that he's probably wishing you were touching him instead.

He gets close

What better way to make physical contact than to get really close to you? If he's scooting closer to his crush, he wants to touch you. He might be trying to gauge your reaction first. If you don't back away, he knows you're on the same page.

Physical Signs He Wants To Kiss You

Is he just daydreaming, or is there more to his intense stare? Is he trying to get a closer look or leaning in for a passionate kiss? Well, the top physical signs he wants to kiss you are:

Staring at your lips

A man’s attention will often move between your face, chest area, and midsection if he is sexually attracted to you. This pattern of staring at your eyes and chest is known as intimate gazing. If he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from your lips, there’s no doubt he wants to kiss you.

Leaning in

Take note of what happens when you're in each other’s personal space. A man who wants to kiss you might take a deep breath or lick his lips and then lean in. If he’s close enough, you might feel his heart racing right along with yours. If you want him to kiss you, give him the green light by leaning in too.

Touching his lips

Touching his lips is a combination of nervous excitement and something called autoerotic touching. Wanting to kiss you will make his lips more sensitive, and touching them provides temporary relief. It also subconsciously communicates that he wants to feel your lips against his.

Complimenting you

When a guy is building up to a passionate kiss, he's bound to get flirty. He'll tell you how beautiful you look. He might even make a direct reference to your lips by complimenting your shade of lipstick.


If it's time to say goodbye and he lingers, he's waiting to see if all the tension between you builds up to a kiss. This is your cue to move a little closer if you want to take things further.

Signs He Doesn't Want You Sexually

Could you be stuck in the dreaded friend zone? Unfortunately, if he is doing any of the following things, he doesn't want you sexually:

1. He turns down any sexual advances

If he doesn't flirt back or if he quickly changes the subject when things get steamy, he's not interested. When he doesn't want you sexually, any attempts to get him alone are likely to fall flat too.

2. His body language says no

He probably doesn't view you as a potential romantic partner if he keeps his distance and avoids touching you. A man who wants to be with you sexually keeps close. If he wants to keep things platonic, he's more likely to respect your personal space.

3. He refers to you as a friend

Calling you 'dude' or 'buddy' strongly suggests that he sees you as a friend. If he says this often, he could be hinting that your advances make him uncomfortable. If you value your friendship, you might want to tone down the flirting.

Red Flags Indicating A Guy Only Wants You For Your Body

Does he only want you for what he can get? Here’s how to know if he only wants you for your body:

1. You don't share an emotional connection

A man who only wants you for your body won’t want to establish a strong emotional connection with you. You’ll have a strictly sexual relationship, and he simply won't try to get to know you better.

2. He’s selfish

When his want for you is grounded in selfishness, pleasing you won't be on his priority list. So forget about candlelit dinners or romantic walks under the moonlight. In fact, you can count on him to simply roll over and fall asleep after sex. After all, making sure you’re satisfied isn’t part of the deal.

3. He’s inconsistent

Inconsistency communicates that he is not looking for something serious with you. A man who is interested in a long-term relationship will want to prove he's dependable. As such, he is more likely to keep his promises. If he only calls you when he wants to get with you, he is only using you for your body.

4. He’s unavailable

What does unavailability look like? Well, you can only meet on certain days or when it's convenient for him. Emotionally, he’s closed off and disinterested. Who you are and what you feel is of no interest to him. When you try to have a serious conversion, he might dismiss you or change the topic.

It’s not uncommon for a guy who treats you like this to have multiple sexual partners on the side. He might even be married or maybe he has never been in love. If you met him on a dating app, and he's always unavailable, there’s a pretty good chance that either of these scenarios is true.

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