When you choose to break up with someone, it almost always feels like the right thing to do at the time.
You are at your breaking point with the problems in your relationship. Whether you were tired of dating long-distance or your partner simply wasn’t meeting your emotional needs, you realized it wasn’t working anymore.
At first, you might have felt a sense of relief. You recognized the issues between you two and finally did something about it. You knew you deserved better, and making the decision to break up was a giant step in the right direction.
Then real life sets in. You wake up and you don’t have a good morning text waiting for you on your phone.
A family member gets sick, and he is the first person you want to call. You remember you can’t.
The show you always watched together comes on TV, and you quickly change the channel.
Reminders of him are everywhere. The happy memories flood in, and each one hurts more than the last. You start to feel like you made a huge mistake. Imagining your ex-boyfriend dating a different person is almost unbearable. You can’t remember why you ever wanted to leave the relationship in the first place.
You want to get your ex-boyfriend back fast, but you broke up with him. It feels wrong to send mixed messages and say you changed your mind.
Or maybe it was mutual. You both decided ending your love story was the right decision. Now you don’t want to hold up your end of the bargain. So what can you do about it? Here are some quick thoughts on the matter:
Things to know
- Begin with improving yourself: think fitness, socializing, and mindfulness.
- Next, you need to get out there. Whether it's going on dates, going out of town for a while, or posting your new, improved life on social media. The word about how well you're doing will get out.
- No contact. No contact. No contact. This is a tried and tested method that WORKS.
Luckily, it is possible to get your ex-boyfriend back and attract him without saying a word. Here are the best ways to get his attention when the two of you aren’t talking and some extra tips on the matter:
- Reattract Your Ex Without Talking in 7 Steps
- Three Ways To Glow Up After Your Breakup
- You Can't Force Anyone Into a Relationship
- The Don'ts of Getting Your Ex Back
- Does No-Talking Even Work?
Reattract Your Ex Without Talking in 7 Steps
1. Cut him off
The first thing you need to do is stop all forms of communication with your ex. That means no text messages, no phone calls, no contact.
If you aren’t already following the No Contact Rule, start now. This is the number one way to make him miss you.
When he stops hearing from you, he will start to go crazy, wondering what you're doing. Are you talking to a different person? Have you moved on already?
Cutting off the friendly texts will give him a chance to miss your inside jokes and daily conversations. Let him see what life is really like without you.
Nothing gets a guy’s attention like being out of reach.
2. Be your best self
When you go through a breakup, it doesn’t matter whose decision it was. Your self-esteem takes a hit.
On some level, there is a part of you that blames yourself for the failed relationship. You fear that you somehow weren’t good enough to make it work.
This is totally false. It takes two people to maintain a committed relationship. But that doesn’t change how you feel.
The best thing you can do is focus on your getting your confidence back. Not only will this rebuild your damaged self-esteem, but it will also attract your ex-boyfriend.
3. Post your progress
Remember that new outfit you just bought with your friends? Don’t forget to post it on social media.
Using features like Instagram stories will make your ex-boyfriend see how well you’re doing without him. You should be proud of the progress you’re making as you work on yourself. Don’t be shy: keep those status updates rolling!
Upload a video of the new weight you just hit at the gym. Snap a selfie of your new haircut. Tag your friends in a cute shot of the latest girls' night.
Keep your posting schedule natural. It will be obvious that you’re seeking his attention if you start putting up stories all the time. Trying too hard will have the opposite effect on attracting your ex.
Just keep doing your thing and document it online as you go. The positive pictures will speak for themselves. He’ll definitely want to be a part of your life again when he sees how much fun you’re having.
4. Invest in your friendships
While you’re hoping to rekindle the spark with your ex-boyfriend, don’t forget about the friends who have been there all along.
When we are in a serious relationship, we can accidentally neglect the other important people in our lives. Now is a great time to reach out and mend those valuable connections. Chances are your close friends will be waiting for you to pick up where you left off with them.
When you shift your focus to forming genuine friendships, something funny happens.
Your ex starts to sense that he’s not the center of attention in your life anymore. Seeing you out and about with your best friend instead of him might make him jealous and prompt him to reconnect with you.
Spending more time with friends, new and old, is a win-win: you get a great social life, and your ex grows more attracted to you.
5. Get out of town
Traveling opens your mind to new possibilities. That’s what makes it the perfect activity when you want to draw your ex-boyfriend back into your life.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, which has never been more true than after a breakup.
Even if you are following a No Contact Rule, unless you are in New York and he is in Los Angeles, there’s a high chance you’ll run into each other. The only sure way to avoid this encounter is to get away.
If there’s a place you have always wanted to explore, now’s the time to book a trip. You’ll have an incredible experience, and your ex will definitely be intrigued when he sees you exploring the world on social media.
6. Start dating casually
After your previous relationship ends, dating a different person is probably the last thing on your mind. But there can be surprising benefits to going out for drinks with someone new.
Relationship coach Stacii Jae Johnson teaches that going on dates with lots of different guys can be a great way to grow your confidence and learn more about what you want. “Think of dating multiple men in this way,” she says. “Similar to going on many interviews to find the right position, as you date, you become more confident, more aware of your attributes, and more comfortable sharing them.”
Another perk? Word might get back to your man that his ex-girlfriend is putting herself back out there.
While that should never be your sole motivation for going out with a guy, it’s not a bad benefit if things don’t go beyond the first date.
Try going on a low-commitment meet-up or two and see how it feels. If you click, you might have a new boyfriend. And if you don’t? Your ex will be way more likely to jump on the opportunity before you get into a new romantic relationship.
7. Practice manifesting
When you’re trying to attract your ex back into your life, it’s important to keep your eyes on the prize.
Without using words, it’s not easy to capture his attention. Instead, you have to visualize the desired outcome. Imagine yourself getting what you want. Picture him picking up the phone and calling you or sending you a text that says he wants you back.
The technical word for this exercise is “manifesting.” It’s when you direct all your thoughts on your goal and will it into existence.
Does it actually work?
That’s up for debate. However, many clinical psychologists believe there’s some truth to the practice. Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., says that “manifestation enables us to articulate our goals and come up with a strategy to attain them.”
Even if the universe itself isn’t behind the success of manifesting, it certainly can’t hurt to try this goal-setting trend when you want to attract your ex-boyfriend.
Manifesting is also known as the Law of Attraction. This philosophy teaches that our thoughts make our world. In other words, “like attracts like.”
When we think in a positive way, good things happen to us. And when our thoughts become negative, we, in turn, attract bad energy.
If you manifest getting back together with your ex, don’t forget to factor in the Law of Attraction and keep your thoughts optimistic.
Three Ways To Glow Up After Your Breakup
Being upset about your breakup is natural, but laying in bed all day won’t help you get him back. The best thing you can do to increase your chances is to get out of the house and into the gym.
Working out is great for both your mind and body. Lifting weights will put you in an empowered mood while acting as a stress reliever. Get all those negative feelings released while pumping iron.
Bonus: your daily exercise regimen will have you looking better than ever. The next time you run into your ex, he’ll be stunned by your fit figure.
When your brain is in good shape, you glow from the inside out. Don’t neglect your mental health when you’re working on. If you are struggling with your recent breakup, try talking to a family member or trusted friend. They know you better than anyone and can work wonders on your mindset.
But if you are dealing with deeper issues like depression or anxiety, consider seeking professional help. A clinical psychologist can get you back on track and in a better place.
Getting your mental health in order will help ground you during the breakup healing process, and your ex will definitely notice your newfound sense of confidence.
Self-care doesn’t always have to be practical. Sometimes, the best form of emotional support is having fun.
Going shopping with close friends to revamp your wardrobe can be a great stress reliever. Plus, your self-esteem—and appeal—will skyrocket in a fresh new look.
Don’t be afraid to try out retail therapy when you’re going through the healing process.
You Can't Force Anyone Into a Relationship
When it comes to getting back together with your ex, there is only so much in your power. Whether he wants to try again is ultimately up to him. You can’t force anyone into a relationship.
These strategies will give you the best chances of winning him back without saying a word. The key is to use them sparingly.
Taking any of these methods to the extreme can actually backfire in a big way.
The Don'ts of Getting Your Ex Back
When you’re desperate to win back a guy, it can be hard not to take things too far.
You easily lose sight of the end goal and start getting sucked into toxic behavior.
It’s important to control your negative emotions and keep yourself from going overboard with attention-seeking strategies. Remember, no one wants to date a walking red flag.
When you are trying to attract your ex, here are some things you definitely do NOT want to do:
1. Don't Break The No Contact Rule
Begging for a guy to take you back is never a good look. As much as you miss him, now is the time to stay strong and double down on the zero-contact policy.
If you start sending him messages and deliberately trying to “bump into him” around town, it will end up pushing him away instead of drawing him in. He will start to feel annoyed by you instead of attracted to you.
Keep your distance. If you feel tempted to reach out to your ex-boyfriend, call up a trusted friend instead. Accountability partners are key.
2. Don't Try To Make Him Jealous
There’s nothing wrong with going on a casual date or two if you are genuinely interested in a new guy. But if you are thinking about entering a committed relationship just to get your ex back, think again.
It’s flat-out wrong to mess with somebody’s emotions. Not only that, but the strategy would totally backfire.
Even if you are going out with someone just to use him, your ex won’t know that. If he’s a halfway decent guy, he will stay far away from you when he sees you with a new partner. He will try and respect your new romantic relationship and avoid you instead of trying to win you back.
Lying is always a bad idea and doing it to attract your ex-boyfriend is no exception. Although there are a few common ways to make your ex jealous, this one is definitely unacceptable.
3. Don't Try To Break Up His New Relationship
The same rule applies if you find out your ex-boyfriend has a new partner.
The two of you broke up. He has every right to date someone new. Even if you don’t like it, you have to accept his new relationship.
You might be surprised by how playing it cool helps your case.
Your ex will pay attention to how you take the news that he has a new partner. When you act chill about it, he might be bothered by your reaction if he still has feelings for you.
He also might discover that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. If he dates a new girl and finds out that he misses you, you definitely want to keep yourself approachable in case he comes running back.
But if he has truly moved on already, do not interfere with him and his current partner. There’s nothing less attractive than an ex-girlfriend who tries to break up a new couple.
4. Don't Send Subliminal Messages
While you are posting your pics on social media, be savvy about your schedule.
If you normally put up an Instagram story once a week, uploading selfies every hour is going to make your efforts pretty obvious. Make sure your social media presence is unchanged to avoid suspicion.
That also means no subliminal messages. Trying to use your captions as a loophole to send your ex signals is a big no-no. Posting long and emotional statuses about love and loss are going to tip him off pretty fast.
Adding sexy selfies to your profile is also a misguided idea. You will definitely get his attention, but not in the way you want. If your pictures go from cute to cringe, he will read between the lines that you are acting desperate.
The best way to use social media is a natural style. You want to be subtle about your efforts to get back with your ex. Otherwise, all your followers will be in the middle of your drama. And no one wants that.
5. Don't Involve Your Mutual Friends
Usually, when two people have been in a serious relationship for a while, they start to share friends. Maybe they met you while you were together or multiple friend groups combined once you started dating.
Either way, it can be incredibly awkward when there’s a breakup in a friend group. Everyone cares about you, but they also care about your ex. They don’t want to pick sides. And they really don’t want to get in the middle of your drama.
Asking a mutual friend to pass along messages or share information about your ex-boyfriend will only create an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. Your friendships should remain separate from your romantic relationship.
There’s nothing wrong with hoping word gets back to your ex that you want him back. Being honest with your friends is perfectly fair and not a bad idea. You will only get into trouble when you cross a line and start asking them to intervene. Keep your friends out of it, or risk losing some great people.
6. Don't Put Your Life On Hold
Here’s the hard truth: your ex might not want you back. The question you need to ask yourself is: what do I want for myself? The answer should not depend on your ex-boyfriend’s feelings. A man can change his mind on a dime. Your world needs to keep spinning, with or without him.
Want to take that new job? Go ahead and apply. Meet a new guy you like? There’s no harm in going out for drinks. Thinking about moving cities? He’ll find your new address if he really wants to reconnect.
It’s unhealthy to sit around pining after your ex. But it’s always a sure way to guarantee he never comes knocking. Any guy who feels like his ex-girlfriend is lost without him is going to be uncomfortable with that dependent dynamic.
He is way more likely to call you up if he sees you living your life as the best version of yourself. And if he doesn’t? Then at least you will be putting yourself out there and moving forward.
Don’t wait around all day for your ex to come back. There’s a whole world to explore.
Does No-Talking Even Work?
Yes. You can attract someone without talking by implementing the no-contact method and improving aspects of your life that he will notice.
However, not all relationships are salvageable. Even when you truly love someone, being with them romantically isn’t always for the best. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but he also can’t lie to you about his feelings.
What’s done is done. If you and your ex-boyfriend are meant to be, he will find his way back to you. And if not? Then the two of you did the right thing in the first place.
Either way, you can’t go wrong. There’s no roadmap when it comes to romance. No matter what decision you make, true love has a way of working out.
Maybe your ex isn’t the one, but who knows? Your new partner might be. Manifest it and hope for the best. It just might work.
Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back with the Help of Relationship Hero
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