12 Signs Your Ex Misses You

Healing from a broken heart is a long and windy road. One minute the world is crashing down, and the next, you're feeling like yourself again. In every breakup, there almost always comes a time when one starts to question their decision.

Whether it’s been two days or two months, you miss him terribly. The pain doesn’t feel worth it. You might not have had a perfect relationship, but you can’t stop thinking about the happy memories.

Things to know

  • If he engages with you on social media, constantly talks to you and finds excuses to reach out, he might miss you as much as you miss him. Shows negative feelings and struggles to let go of the past
  • If he brings up the past frequently, is still single and flirts with you, he might still be holding on.
  • Asking mutual friends about you and having a hard time letting go, are also signs that he misses you.

Deep down, you might not even want him back. But you can’t stop wondering if he misses you as badly as you miss him. It would feel like a betrayal if he didn’t.

Luckily, there are subtle signs you can watch for that will reveal how he feels. Here are 12 key signs that he’s missing you, too:

  1. He Engages With You On Social Media
  2. He Still Talks To You All The Time
  3. He Always Brings Up The Past
  4. He’s Not In A New Relationship Yet
  5. He Asks Your Mutual Friends About You
  6. He’s Having A Hard Time With The Breakup
  7. You’re His Best Friend
  8. You’re His First Love
  9. He’s Always There For You
  10. He Flirts With You
  11. He Sends You Mixed Signals
  12. He Tells You He Misses You

Signs Your Ex Misses You

1. He Engages With You On Social Media

If a guy is done with you, he doesn’t care what you’re doing. He doesn’t want to see pictures of you or keep up with your life.

So if he’s still following you on social media, that is a definite sign he hasn’t closed the door completely. Watching your Instagram stories and keeping tabs on who you’re with is not the norm for a guy who is no longer thinking about you.

If he’s liking and commenting on all your posts, that’s an even bigger signal that you are on his mind. Why else would he engage with your content?

A man who is done caring about what his ex-girlfriend is up to would unfollow her. He might even block her. Pay attention to his behavior online. It’s a big clue into how he’s feeling.

2. He Still Talks To You All The Time

Are you and your ex still talking on a daily basis? That’s one of the biggest signs that your former partner might be missing you.

When you break up with a guy, usually, they cut the cord and stop reaching out. They might even ask to implement a no-contact rule, where you aren’t allowed to interact with each other at all. That’s the typical behavior of a man who has put his romantic relationship behind him.

But if he is missing you, he won’t be able to do that.

Instead, he’ll find random excuses to talk to you. He might send you funny pictures and ask about your day. You’ll get a text message updating you on his latest ideas or friend drama. In some ways, it will almost feel like you are still together.

Keep an eye on his communication style. If he is constantly hitting you up, that is a unique insight into his mind.

3. He Always Brings Up The Past

When you and your ex-boyfriend talk, do you find that he frequently strolls down memory lane?

If he's always talking about happier times between the two of you, he might be missing them. Pay attention to how often he reminisces about inside jokes, fun dates you went on, or milestones you hit in your past relationship. The more he brings up past events,  the more he is missing it—and you.

When a man spends a lot of energy on remembering different times you spent together, it indicates he isn’t ready to move forward yet - he can't get over his ex. Instead of feeling liberated by your breakup, he is having difficulty imagining a future without you.

Living in the past isn’t very healthy, but it is a potential hint that he misses you.

4. He’s Not In A New Relationship Yet

Another clear sign that he hasn’t moved on? He's still single.

A guy like him is a hot commodity. It can’t possibly be that difficult for him to find a new person to date. If he hasn’t started pursuing a new relationship yet, then there’s a chance the reason is you.

Of course, there is a strong chance he is choosing to focus on his own needs or his mental health before getting into a rebound relationship. Losing someone you love is a painful experience. Remember, he is going through a healing process from this breakup, just like you.

But if it’s been a while since you went your separate ways and his relationship status still hasn't changed, it could be because he’s still missing you.

5. He Asks Your Mutual Friends About You

Dating has a way of creating a brand new friend group. You and your boyfriend combine social circles and start to make your own connections.

Even if the two of you decide you want different things, the mutual friends typically last longer than the relationship did.

Assuming you are still on speaking terms with the social circle of your ex-boyfriend, chances are you hear how he’s doing from time to time. If you’re curious to know if he misses you, ask a trusted friend the next time you are hanging out. They’ll have the inside knowledge.

If you don’t feel comfortable asking one of your mutual friends directly, try a more casual approach. Ask how your ex has been lately, and see what they say. You might not get a clear answer, but any information they can give you is valuable.

If your ex’s friends say anything about him having negative feelings without you, that’s an obvious sign that he might be missing you.

6. He’s Having A Hard Time With The Breakup

You may not even need your ex’s friends to tell you how he is doing. Your former partner might admit to having a hard time himself.

If he doesn’t open up to you, pay close attention to other mental health giveaways. When you talk to him, does he have negative energy? Pay attention to his appearance. Does he look like he is taking care of himself? Or is he disheveled and sleep-deprived?

Notice his tone. If he is usually a positive person and now sounds cynical or dark, that isn’t a good sign. Look at his daily life. Has he picked up a new hobby? Or is he stuck indoors scrolling aimlessly on social media?

If these things sound like your ex-boyfriend, then he probably needs to practice some self-care. But he might also be suffering from unresolved feelings for his ex-girlfriend.

A guy who is at his best likely isn’t sitting around missing you. But if he seems to be having a hard time with the breakup, that's a solid sign he misses you a lot.

7. You’re His Best Friend

Even though your boyfriend always had his own friends outside of your relationship, you always had a unique bond. That connection doesn’t just disappear when you split up. But it is usually damaged.

If you still feel like the number one person in his life, that’s one of the most prominent signs that he hasn’t stopped seeing you as his partner on some level. Calling you on a daily basis, asking to hang out, and opening up to you about his problems are not typical ways to treat your ex-girlfriend.

Maybe this behavior is all platonic, and he purely sees you as a friend. But given your history of having a romantic relationship, it is more likely that he misses what you had too much to stop seeing you.

8. You’re His First Love

There's a very good chance that he misses you too if you were his first love.

This kind of relationship produces intensely strong feelings. You are the old flame he can never forget. The ex-girlfriend who will always leave him wondering, “what if.”

Even if he has dated other women in the past, it’s that first committed relationship that is meaningful to him. In this case, you are the only woman he has ever seriously considered marrying. The only one he felt he truly loved.

Whether he wants to give you a second chance or not doesn’t matter, he can’t help but miss you after sharing such a formative love life experience with you. If you are his first love, you have left a mark on his heart that will never fade.

9. He’s Always There For You

An ex-boyfriend who doesn’t miss you at all is not available for you anymore. He won’t care if your dog died or you lost your job. In fact, he would rather not know anything about your life.

That’s why it’s so significant when a guy still wants to be your shoulder to lean on after a breakup.

Is he asking how you are and checking in on your family? When he sees you post major life announcements on social media—good or bad—does he send you a text message following up? Or do you simply know in your heart that he would drop everything to help you?

If the answer to any of those questions is yes, then he probably still longs for your previous relationship somewhere in his heart. He never truly stopped caring about you.

10. He Flirts With You

When the two of you went your separate ways, the conversation was probably far from flirty. A painful experience like a broken heart sobers you quickly. So if you catch your ex-partner dropping subtle signs again, he might be testing the waters.

When your ex misses you, he will more often than not try to see if he still has a chance. This means flirting with you. Pay attention to his tone the next time you talk. Is he teasing you? Flattering you? Making dirty jokes? Those are all big hints.

Make sure to study his body language, too. How close is he sitting to you? If he’s leaning in or finding excuses to touch you playfully, then he is definitely feeling things out.

Innocent intentions or not, when your ex starts getting flirty with you, then something’s up.

11. He Sends You Mixed Signals

Maybe he isn’t that obvious. Perhaps he’s acting friendly one minute and cold the next. You can’t figure him out. But feeling confused about what he’s thinking is actually a sign itself.

The more unclear his actions are, the more conflicted his mind is.

He can’t decide what he wants. He knows you aren’t together anymore, but he still has strong feelings for you. He misses you but isn’t sure if he really wants to be with you. After all, you broke up for a reason.

If your ex seems like he can’t make up his mind, then he is probably wrestling with missing you.

12. He Tells You He Misses You

A man’s mind isn’t always a mystery. Sometimes, he comes right out and tells you how he feels. If your ex-boyfriend is a direct kind of guy, he isn’t interested in playing mind games. Instead of wasting time, he’ll just say it: I miss you.

Maybe he isn’t expecting anything in return and just wants to be open and honest with you. Or maybe he wants to know if you feel the same way.

Even if the confession is a drunk text, take it seriously. It’s tough to admit true feelings, so he wouldn’t lie about it.

Final Thoughts

Just because he misses you doesn’t mean he’s interested in dating you again. You need to find out if your ex wants you back or if he is simply struggling with letting go of the past. Don't forget: there's a reason you ended things in the first place.

But if you are seriously considering getting back together with your old flame, then you don’t stand a chance unless he is having a hard time without you.

If you recognized your ex in any of these signs, go talk to him about it. You can drive yourself crazy wishing and wondering what he’s thinking. No matter what he says, the good news is this: you will finally have your answer and can start to move forward, either with him or with a new guy.

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