If She Blocks You, She Loves You... Right?

"Oh, she's just playing hard to get."

"She only acts like she's not interested because she wants you to pursue her."

"If she blocks you, she loves you."

We've all heard these narratives time and time again — girls act the least interested when they're really into a guy. It's easy to believe them, too, because the idea of playing "hard to get" is a critical plot component in far too many modern romantic comedies.

However, the people spinning these narratives are often men, not women. Furthermore, these narratives perpetuate the idea that women are a prize to be won, which isn't the case at all.

If you have recently opened your go-to dating app or social media platform only to discover the person you were falling for has blocked you, you may be asking yourself, "Did she block me because she loves me?" Well, as you'll soon discover, the answer to that question isn't as simple as it may seem.

In fact, you have a lot to learn:


If She Blocks You, She Loves You... Right?

When a woman blocks you, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s in love with you or playing hard to get. The chances that she blocked you because she loved you are slim to none.

She may need time to herself, or she may be concerned that you’re going to break her heart. She may feel tired of you, or she may have gotten fed up with your antics. She may have also grown resentful or jealous of you and decided that she needed a break from your presence.

If your breakup was nasty, she might have blocked you out of anger. If you hurt her, she may have blocked you to avoid any further toxic connections with you. If she is the one who hurt you, she may have blocked you to avoid further conversations because she feels guilty or ashamed.

If you don’t know each other or only went on a few dates, she may have blocked you because you offended her or made her feel uncomfortable in some way. Maybe she felt misunderstood and decided it would be best to just walk away.

As you can tell, there are lots of reasons why women block people on social media or on their phones. And they rarely have anything to do with playing hard to get.

So, if you're a guy who was recently blocked, the first you need to do is reframe your perspective of the situation. Then, you need to learn the real reasons a girl may block you on social media.


Why A Girl Blocks You On Social Media

It happens all too often: You go to message someone on socials, only to find you're no longer connected with them. You then search their profile and either can't see them at all or receive an error message when you try to click "View Profile."

You may spend hours trying to figure out why she blocked you. You may have even thought things were going well. So why would she just straight up disconnect with you without any notice? Well, there are several reasons why a girl might block you — and most of them have nothing to do with loving you.

1. You hurt her or made her angry.

The main reason women block men on a social media platform is that he did something to upset them. They may have very strong feelings about something you said or did, and they decided that blocking you was the best thing for their mental health.

Perhaps you cheated, said something offensive, or went through a messy breakup that they're still processing. Maybe you insulted them, and they decided they'd had enough. They may have even asked you to stop sending them text messages or commenting on their Instagram posts, but you didn't listen — there are many possibilities.

2. She thinks you’re a troll or a catfish.

Trolls and catfish are all over the internet. They play innocent people for various purposes, and it rarely ends well. Trolls usually just harass or bully people, while catfish pretend to be someone they are not in hopes of manipulating or taking advantage of the person they're talking to.

Sometimes people get bad feelings about strangers they don't know well. In fact, many people are quick to hard block a profile that seems suspicious. However, even if you've been talking to a girl for months, she may eventually block you depending on certain factors, even if you aren't actually a troll or catfish.

3. You’re overwhelming her.

Another common reason why a girl blocks someone on social media platforms or dating apps is that she feels overwhelmed by your messages. Maybe she feels like you're messaging too often, or maybe you are simply coming on too strong. Unfortunately, frequent messaging is a risky technique that can scare people who aren't looking for something serious.

Sometimes people feel overwhelmed when one person implies that there's a relationship when there isn't, or they jump too far into the relationship too soon. For example, if you bring up marriage in a message after the second date, you may overwhelm your new girlfriend and force her to reevaluate the situation.

Likewise, if you haven't put a label on the relationship and you get jealous of someone else, she might put the breaks on things too. This often happens in situations where one person assumes the other is interested when they really aren't.

4. You said or did something offensive.

Did you send a picture of yourself shirtless? Did you make a racial slur? Saying or doing something offensive is another possible reason for a woman to block a man.

Blocking someone early on in a relationship can sometimes help avoid awkward conversations about controversial issues. Unfortunately, it's hard to know what will and won't offend people, which makes it hard to figure this one out. The best chance you have of figuring this out is by going back through the conversation to see if you can find a place you went wrong.

5. She didn't have the guts to dump you.

Unfortunately, women make mistakes sometimes. Also, many people hate breakups because they create conflict. So, there's a chance that she blocked you to "ghost" you or leave without saying goodbye.

Usually, there are subtle signs a breakup is imminent, even if you don't see those signs until after the fact. If you later recognize that there was "trouble in paradise," there's a good chance she blocked you as a means to end the relationship without doing so face-to-face.

6. She’s trying to go “no contact.”

The no contact rule is when you do not message or call an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend at all after a breakup. In many cases, people use the no contact rule as an opportunity to get over their ex and rediscover life without them. It's a common reason why an ex blocks someone, especially on platforms like Facebook.

If you had a nasty breakup or you've made it hard for your ex to move on, they may be blocking you because they're desperately trying to go no contact. They may even block your phone number, so you can't call or text them.

7. She’s scared to give you a second chance.

A lot of people have a relationship success story where they convinced an ex to give them a second chance. However, just as many people give an ex a second chance only to end up heartbroken again a few months later.

They say "cheaters never change" and "liars never stop lying," and many people believe that. So, if you had a toxic relationship or you did something unforgivable like have an affair, your ex may block you to avoid the temptation of reconnecting to see if you're a different person.

8. She’s moved on to a new relationship.

When a new love interest enters the picture, many people try to completely disconnect from their exes. After all, who wants an ex-boyfriend to show up somewhere all jealous because they saw the ex-girlfriend post her location on social media? No one!

If you suddenly notice she's blocked you and there's no other apparent reason for it, it could be that there's a new beau in her life. She may have wanted to save you from a broken heart, but she also may have wanted privacy as she moves on.

9. You have a new girlfriend, and she’s jealous.

Jealousy is a major motivator for a lot of people, and sometimes it can really leave a person in a funk. In an act of desperation, some people will block an ex when they see them happily settled into a new relationship. It's the whole "out of sight, out of mind" idea, and it often works!

If you post a picture with a new girlfriend and notice that you have one less follower on your socials the next day, chances are your ex blocked you for her mental health.

10. She's the one who messed up.

Obviously, not everything that goes wrong in a relationship is a man's fault. Both people are usually at least partially at fault when romance goes south. Sometimes if a woman did something that she realizes is wrong, she might block you so she doesn't have to "face the music."

Maybe she cheated. Perhaps she realized she offended you. Maybe she was a troll or a catfish herself. Possibly she didn't have the guts to break up with you or tell you the truth about how she felt. There are just as many reasons here as there are reasons in this whole list.

However, you need to really think before you just jump to the conclusion that she blocked you purely because of her own faults.

11. You’re “forbidden fruit.”

Sometimes we most want the things we cannot have, and relationships can fall into that category. Whether it's a crush on a boss or strong feelings for a high school friend who is now in a long-distance relationship with someone else, that forbidden fruit is off limits, and continuing to Facebook stalk that person or text them only makes it worse.


I Hurt Her, And She Blocked Me

Being blocked can feel frustrating and even a bit disheartening. You may wonder if you can repair the situation or if you should just move on. Well, the first step in the process is determining what happened to prompt the blocking. Then, you can determine an appropriate course of action based on the reasoning behind the situation.

If she blocked you because you hurt her in some way, you need to be honest with yourself and own up to your mistakes. You need to take a hard look in the mirror and decide who you truly want to be going forward.

Without taking this critical step to evaluate yourself, chances are you won't be able to improve yourself, and you'll soon end up in a similar situation to the one that got you blocked in the first place. It's hard to admit when we're at fault, but it's a skill that we all need to develop as we grow older.


What To Do When She Blocks You On Social Media

So, you've decided you want to change and make it up to the girl who blocked you. But since you're iced out of all her social accounts, you don't have a way to contact her. So what do you do now?

Well, there are some action steps you can take to repair your relationship or at least apologize.

1. Own your wrongdoing.

If you've been blocked, you don't have a way to apologize or repair the situation immediately. In this situation, the only thing you can do is try to determine where things went wrong and own the mistakes you made. This is what mature people do, and you need to handle this situation in a mature way if you want to fix it.

If you can't figure out what you did to hurt their feelings, consult a mutual friend or family member to see if they have any insight. They may have either noticed something you missed or have additional insight from talking to the woman you wronged.

2. Give her space.

When you figure out where you went wrong, you may feel compelled to instantly apologize and try to "fix" what you broke. However, that's not what you need to do next. Instead, you need to give her some space so she can work through her feelings and begin to work towards forgiveness on her own.

When we instantly bombard someone with apologies or half-assed attempts at repair, we usually end up making the situation worse. What's more, she may think you haven't learned your lesson and are instead just trying to do what makes you feel better. Either way, it's not a good look for you.

So, give her some space and take your issues to the next step.

3. Make a real effort to change.

While you let the sheets (or the keyboard) cool off, you should look for ways to become a better person. Think about what contributed to getting blocked, and look at what part of that is yours to carry. Chances are, you'll find a lot of things you did wrong that you can change or improve on.

Once you have that list, make action plans for each area for improvement you identified. Set small, attainable goals you can work towards, like a checklist for self-improvement. If you feel like the list is too overwhelming or more than you can tackle on your own, consider seeing a therapist or life coach for some extra guidance.

Remember, change can take time. You may need months to work through the issues that led to her blocking you, and that's okay. Don't push yourself too hard and be patient.

4. Connect with mutual friends to assess the situation.

Once you've made a real effort to become a better person, it's time to see if you can potentially repair things with your ex or at least apologize. However, there's nothing that says you have to go into the situation blindly, especially if you share mutual friends. Instead, you can take advantage of their insight.

Remember not to press them too hard, though. Depending on the specifics of the situation, they may not want to help or may not know how to help you. It never hurts to ask, but be willing to take no for an answer, should it come to that.

5. Find a way to apologize or repair the damage.

Regardless of what happens with your future relationship with the person you wronged, it's important to make an effort to repair things or apologize. Doing this with no expectation for anything in return can really show the woman you've changed for the better and that you care about her.

Since they blocked you, you may have to get creative and find a way to bump into her. Just approach the situation delicately and don't do anything that may make her feel uncomfortable. You can even say you'd like a chance to formally apologize over coffee and let her set the time and day. Sometimes that type of control makes people feel better about things.

6. Let go and move on.

Unfortunately, it's not always possible to repair a situation. If that's the case, you will simply need to make peace with the situation and find a way to let go of this person you cared deeply about. You may find that when you don't push, things do improve. You may also find that you can't undo the damage you did — it really just depends.

Either way, you will leave the situation knowing what happened and armed with the ability to do better going forward, whether that's with this same person or someone new. Just remember the lesson you learned here, and try to avoid making the same mistake twice. This will save you the wondering and heartache of future ghosting.


If A Girl Blocks You, Will She Come Back?

Sometimes people hurt each other and find forgiveness. Sometimes they even find a way to make amends and reconnect down the line. These situations can make us all hopeful for our own relationships and give us the knowledge that it's possible an estranged partner will return, no matter how much we've done wrong.

Unfortunately, not all stories have happy endings, especially ones where you reached a point where the other person in the relationship blocked you. But you know what? That's okay.

You can walk away from this situation with a powerful life lesson and the knowledge that sometimes a woman isn't blocking you just to play games — she's doing it to protect herself from additional pain.

You may never know if she will come back after blocking you. All you can do is continue to focus on yourself and your own personal growth.

No one is perfect, and nobody should expect you to always get everything right. However, you need to learn that if she blocks you, it doesn't mean she loves you. Use this as a learning opportunity so you, too, can find the happiness you truly deserve.

You've successfully subscribed to Feel & Thrive - Growing Everyday
Great! Next, complete checkout to get full access to all premium content.
Error! Could not sign up. invalid link.
Welcome back! You've successfully subscribed.
Error! Subscription unsucessful. Please try again.
Success! Your account is fully activated, you now have access to all content.
Error! Stripe checkout failed.
Success! Your billing info is updated.
Error! Billing info update failed.