Looking for a way to get him to want you just as much as you want him?
Just text him!
Texting is a great way to flirt, build anticipation and make him obsessed. You’ll be able to think about your responses and plan them out for maximum impact—no more fumbling or tripping over your words because he’s simply too gorgeous.
With texting, you can be bold, flirty, and fun. More importantly, you can make him think about you constantly if you play your cards right.
Things to know
- Make him obsessed by being bold, flirty, and fun. Men are visual so play on that too.
- To get the most out of texting, understand his texting style, ask open-ended questions, review your responses, be mindful of timing and avoid texting while under the influence.
- To turn the tables and make him chase you, build suspense by letting some time lapse between texts. Show him you're a confident woman with a life and interests.
Sold? Well, here’s what we’ll be exploring to have him chasing you in no time:
- The Power of Texting
- Texting Do’s and Don'ts
- How To Turn The Tables And Make Him Chase You
- Texts A Guy Can't Ignore
- 9 Texts That Will Make Him Chase You
- Turn Up The Charm In Person Too
The Power of Texting
Texting is a no-pressure form of communication—you can take as much time as you need to reflect on how you feel and then type out a response.
If your relationship is in its early stages, texting is a great way to supplement your in-person interactions. It can also help you overcome social jitters and express your true feelings.
Compliments, funny text messages, and positive comments have been shown to bring people closer. Emerging research even tells us that texting can increase relationship satisfaction.
Texting Do’s and Don'ts
To get the most out of texting, here’s what you should and shouldn’t be doing:
Ask open-ended questions
You’ve got to keep the flow going to establish an emotional connection with him. Open-ended questions will allow you to dig deeper and learn more about him.
Open-ended questions will also show him that you’re interested in who he is. You’re also less likely to get the dreaded one-word responses that are typical with closed-ended questions.
Review your responses
Since single men and women regard spelling and grammatical errors as major texting turn-offs, it's worthwhile to read over your responses before you hit send.
It's easy for things to get lost in translation via text, so make sure you're clear. Be mindful of how many emojis you use. Interpreting what you’re trying to say will be tricky if he needs to decipher a series of smiley faces too.
Timing is important
Timing is everything. Firstly, men don’t want to receive texts when they’re at work. Plus, they expect prompt responses: 30% of single men expect a response within 10 minutes. While it’s good to build a little suspense, try not to keep him waiting for too long. He might get the wrong impression and think you aren’t interested.
Most singles prefer not to receive a second text until they have responded to the first. With this in mind, don’t be a text gnat and bombard him with texts. The golden rule is to be patient and give him a chance to respond.
Avoid texting while under the influence
The best text is a sober text. When you're sober, your brain helps you regulate your actions and weigh the risks of your behavior.
When you're drunk, you have less control over your behavior. There’s no telling how much damage you could do to your budding relationship. You might offend him or come across as creepy. You might even say something you regret and start avoiding him out of sheer humiliation.
Don’t rely solely on texting
Relying solely on texting can make you feel isolated and emotionally disconnected from the real world. In fact, mental exhaustion and anxiety have been linked to excessive texting.
If you solely communicate via text, your relationship may suffer. Even in well-established relationships, partners need alone time. Texting creates endless accessibility and increases the chances of emotional burnout. It can also give the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy.
Because we can't see facial expressions and body language while texting, complex emotions are harder to convey. Messages can be misinterpreted, making texting an ineffective way to resolve conflict. If you need to discuss sensitive topics or issues, stick to face-to-face communication.
Shake things up occasionally by picking up the phone or video calling him. Better yet, invite him out and let the sparks fly between you!
Try not to use texting as a defense mechanism
Defense mechanisms are the unconscious psychological responses we use to protect ourselves from feelings of anxiety or inadequacy and things we don't want to think about or deal with.
Renowned social psychologist Sherry Turkle warns that texting can become a defense mechanism. You might start to alter your natural responses to mask your true personality.
As you have time to think about what to say next, you may start to prefer texting over the pressure of real-life interactions. When you no longer have to respond in real-time, your social skills might take a hit.
How To Turn The Tables And Make Him Chase You
If you want to turn the tables and make him chase you, here are a few things you can do:
To make him chase you, you've got to build a little suspense. The best way to do this is to let some time lapse between your texts. So don't reply immediately; wait a few minutes before sending your next message.
The thrill of the chase lies in him knowing that you aren’t always there when he wants you to be there. If he’s really into you, he'll be motivated to gain and sustain your attention.
Plus, not being available all the time will show him you're a confident woman with a life and interests. This means you're less likely to be clingy or codependent in a relationship.
Keep it short and impactful
As men aren't avid texters, it's better to keep your texts short and impactful rather than long and rambling. Endless texts are likely to annoy instead of intrigue him.
You're simply dying to know all you can about him, but remember to be cool and collected in your approach. Remember to give him a chance to express himself by waiting until he responds to send him another message.
You don't want to come across as desperate—you'll only push him away. By being patient, you're more likely to draw him in.
Mirror his texting style
Mimicking someone's gestures to make them feel more comfortable is a great way to build a connection. Even if you aren't having a face-to-face conversation, you can still mirror his texting style and reap the benefits.
If he likes to send funny memes, send a few back to him too.
You can also make him feel at ease by using his favorite words and phrases. Mirroring his texting language will make you seem more relatable. He’ll feel like you get him, which is vital if you’re trying to build a lasting relationship.
Less is more when it comes to getting his attention via text. If you want to intrigue him, keep your answers mysterious. Instead of leading with all the juicy details, use mysterious descriptions. He'll be curious and ask you more questions.
Remember, there’s a fine line between being mysterious and being evasive. The trick is to strike a balance. You want to come across as interesting and easygoing, not uptight and uncooperative. Go into detail often, but sometimes, make him work for it. The thrill of the chase will keep him hooked.
Make him feel good
Whether it's making him feel good about himself or just making him feel good in general, keeping your interactions positive is a sure way to keep coming back for more.
Even if he seems cool and confident, making him feel good about his appearance or his strengths will give him an ego boost. He'll appreciate the recognition and feel more secure. Not only will he like you more, but he’ll also get an instant rush of feel-good hormones that will literally make him addicted to you.
When you're confident and authentic, you're attractive. So while it might be tempting to try to change yourself into someone you think he might like, it’s better to be yourself.
Playing a part will only make things awkward in the long run. Maintaining an act isn't sustainable, and you'll wear yourself out. You also risk confusing or driving him away when he realizes you've been deceiving him. If you're hoping for your relationship to develop beyond texting, introduce him to your authentic self.
Get him talking about his interests
When someone is interested in the things we love, we can’t help but be drawn to them. The opportunity to share something with someone receptive and enthusiastic is not only memorable but addictive.
From now on, show interest in his hobbies and ask him well-thought-out questions. Being genuinely interested in his daily life and who he is as a person is a great way to stay on his mind.
There's evidence that shared laughter can help build long-term relationships, and couples who can laugh together experience greater relationship satisfaction.
If you’re someone he can laugh with, he’ll assume being in a relationship with you will be a fun-filled experience. Your great sense of humor will also come in handy when tensions run high. Humor has been proven to help diffuse arguments and bring couples together.
Just be mindful of the type of humor you use. Humor that belittles or criticizes him (such as sarcasm) will not strengthen your connection — instead, it might create tension and hostility.
Ultimately though, if sarcasm is your thing and not his, you might not be the best match for each other.
Appeal to the hero in him
Coined by relationship and dating coach James Bauer, the ‘hero instinct’ describes how a man has to feel like he’s of value to you to fall for you. If he can't save the day, he won't feel appreciated. There’s actually a risk that he’ll lose interest in you altogether.
Fret not; you can appeal to this side of him even via text. Whenever you need his opinion on something, ask him — he’ll be happy to help. Getting his opinion or letting him help you is a great way to make your man fall for you.
Remember to actually use the advice he gives you. If you only seek his advice and never use it, it’ll have the opposite effect—he’ll get the impression that you don’t trust or value his judgment.
Texts A Guy Can't Ignore
Asking him a boring question here and there simply will not do. If you want his full attention, here are the types of texts he won’t be able to ignore:
The reminder text
If you recently went on a first date or did something memorable together, take him back with a reminder text.
If he had a great time, too, chances are his response will make this clear. It might even lead to a deeper conversation about your time together. The upside is he might be more inclined to schedule another date when he knows you enjoyed his company.
Rejection sucks, so try to put his mind at ease as often as possible. Knowing that you're feeling the spark, too, is the green light he needs to keep chasing you.
The flirty text
Flirty text messages are a clear sign that you like him. They are also the best texts to communicate that you're interested in establishing a romantic relationship with him.
When done right, a little fun and teasing can make him obsessed. Much like in person, flirting via text is about being subtle and taking your cues from him. Send him a flirty text and see how he responds.
If he responds with a flirty text of his own, that's your signal to continue and even step it up a notch. Just like a fun in-person flirting session, this back and forth can build suspense and make a man chase you.
The visual text
Men are visual creatures, meaning they'd rather receive a photo or video of what you're doing than a long paragraph. So don't wait for him to ask—snap a few shots of you just going about your life. He'll feel special, and he'll be able to feast his eyes on you whenever he misses you.
The funny text
Funny texts are a great way to show off your personality and make a guy chase you. Being able to laugh with someone causes a steady release of happy hormones. If he experiences this rush every time you text him, he'll be obsessed in no time.
For extra laughs, take your 'inside jokes' over to social media. To keep the engagement levels high, tag him in posts he might like.
The key thing to note here is that being funny or being able to make a joke out of anything isn't necessarily linked to relationship satisfaction. Instead, it is the ability to create humor together that makes for a lasting connection.
The encouraging text
Miss him? Let him know. Much like us, men question themselves too. Never shy away from the opportunity to tell him just how much he means to you and how much you love spending time with him.
Does he have a big interview coming up or an important project that he’s working on? Send him an encouraging message and show him he has your full support. When he knows he can count on you to be there for him, he'll feel encouraged.
The thinking of you text
The little things can go a long way in strengthening the bond between you. Being vulnerable and telling him that you're thinking of him is a great way to establish a strong emotional connection.
He's also more likely to be open with you if you're open with him. Don't hesitate to make the first move and text him if you see something interesting that reminds you of him. Not only is this a great conversation starter, but it will also let him know you're thinking of him.
The praise text
Although men also like compliments, new research suggests they receive less praise than women. In general, men compliment women more often than women compliment men.
With this in mind, paying him a genuine compliment will put you steps ahead of the competition. Beware — shallow flattery usually has the opposite effect. You don’t want him to think you’re being manipulative or that you have ulterior motives.
The checking-in text
To the detriment of their mental health, men tend to suppress their emotions. If you really want to make a lasting impression, invite him to open up about his life.
When you check in, do so with care and compassion. He might be reluctant to share his feelings at first, so it's up to you to make him feel safe about opening up.
Being vulnerable and sharing your own struggles is the easiest way to make him feel comfortable and encourage him to share his true feelings with you.
The sexy text
Seductive texts are guaranteed to build anticipation and make him think about you all the time. If you can trust him to keep the steamy texts between the two of you, this might be the bold move you need to make him chase you.
9 Texts That Will Make Him Chase You
We’ve looked at some of the general things you should be doing to get him addicted to texting you. Here are 9 texts you can send right now to make him chase you:
- I really enjoyed spending time with you. I can’t wait to see you again!
- Want to hear a secret?
- Good news, I just took a sexy pic. Bad news, it's too inappropriate to post on Instagram. Want to see?
- I had a crazy dream about you last night.
- You’re pretty freaking great! Thanks for being there for me. I’m waiting for your terms and conditions any time now.
- I saw this (include a photo or video), and it reminded me of you.
- I just saw the new picture you uploaded. Stop looking so yummy in your photos. I’m trying to work.
- If I weren't me, I'd be jealous of myself for having someone as awesome as you in my life.
- This text entitles you to one kiss on the body part of your choice. Choose wisely…
Turn Up The Charm In Person Too
Although texting games can be fun, the goal is for things to heat-up off-screen. Next time you're together, turn up the charm and show him you’re every bit as irresistible in person.