Falling in love is natural. So why is it so confusing?
We’ve all been there. An old friend starts to feel like something more. You can’t stop thinking about a casual hookup. It’s your third date, and you think you like the guy, but you’re asking yourself: how do I know if I am in love?
Sometimes, we need a little help figuring out our feelings. If that’s you, then you’ve come to the right place.
If you want to know the 10 foolproof signs that you’re in love, then read on:
- You get butterflies around them
- You can’t stay off your phone
- They break down your walls
- You want to know everything about them
- You’re not afraid of eye contact
- You’re obsessing over them
- You want to call them on bad days
- You’re insanely attracted to them
- You imagine a future together
- You’re ignoring red flags
If you find yourself excusing bad behavior, there’s a good chance you’re looking through the warped lens of love. In your mind, they can do no wrong.
Obvious Signs You Are In Love
1. You get butterflies around them
There are some feelings that only come from romantic love. Getting butterflies is definitely one of them.
When you’re falling for someone, the body knows. Your stomach flutters at the very thought of them. Your heart stops, then speeds up as they walk towards you. You feel lightheaded and giddy but get tongue-tied when you talk to them.
If you’re unsure whether or not you are in love, pay attention to all the new things your body is feeling around this person. Your mind can play tricks on you, but it can’t fake the butterflies that flood your stomach when they’re around.
2. You can’t stay off your phone
A sure sign of being in love? Being glued to your phone.
When you develop a romantic feeling for someone, you want to talk to them all the time. It’s impossible to be bored. Everything they say is interesting, their jokes are funny, and the mundane details of their evening fascinate you.
If you’re in love, you find yourself checking your phone constantly. You don’t want to miss a single text or call. You pull up their social media profile at random hours of the day just to see them again. New love makes you want to know what they’re doing, who they’re with, and what they’re thinking at all times. Watch your phone usage: excessive screen time is a clear sign you’re falling hard.
3. They break down your walls
The right person will make you forget everyone who came before. Every toxic relationship and broken heart is left in the past. No matter how many times you’ve been hurt or betrayed, being in love makes you want to trust again.
When you have a romantic interest in someone, you’re not afraid to be open with them. You want to tell this person everything. You catch yourself spilling your most embarrassing secrets and deepest desires. For some reason, you feel safe with them.
Real love brings down your guard. Getting vulnerable is a sign that you want this person to meet your emotional needs as a partner.
4. You want to know everything about them
Love makes us curious. It’s not enough to have surface-level conversations with the object of our affection—we want to know absolutely everything about them.
A sure sign that you are in love is trying to find out what makes your man tick. Your questions will go way behind small talk. Instead, you’ll be asking them about their childhood and best friend. You will try to find out their opinions about religion and politics. Their past regrets and future plans will seem to you like the most interesting topics in the world.
But it’s not all serious. If you’re deep in the romantic feeling, you’ll be curious about the silly stuff, too. What is their favorite food? Color? Movie? What’s their star sign or personality type? What time do they like to wake up and go to sleep? No detail is too small if you are in love with them.
5. You’re not afraid of eye contact
Humans naturally shy away from eye contact. It’s intense to stare into someone’s soul. We feel compelled to blink or break away from meeting another person’s gaze.
But that’s not the case if you’re in love. You don’t feel shy at all. In fact, you love their eyes. You notice everything about them: the specks of green, the slight asymmetry, the long lashes. It’s your favorite view.
Science backs up this sign. Studies have shown that prolonged eye contact indicates a romantic feeling, or even sexual attraction, between two people. Plus, more eye contact means more arousal. So if you feel bold enough to lock eyes, that’s a clear sign you feel more than just compassionate love for this individual.
6. You’re obsessing over them
One of the many different things that indicate romantic love is fixation. This person consumes your every thought. You mention their name at every opportunity. You know you’re doing it, but for some reason, you can’t stop.
Don’t worry: it’s all part of the honeymoon phase. Your obsession is just another sign of being in love.
When should you be concerned? If you start showing symptoms of love addiction. Associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder and low self-esteem, this mental health disorder takes infatuation to an extreme. A warning sign of love addiction is a total lack of control in setting boundaries toward this person.
So if you start abandoning all other friends and hobbies in favor of your love interest, consider seeking help from a relationship therapist.
7. You want to call them on bad days
If you are asking yourself, “am I in love?” then try and think about the first person you call on bad days. Is it your best friend? A family member? Or is it the person you might have feelings for?
When you are going through a rough patch, you lean on the one you most trust. If you turn to your potential romantic partner, then that is a sure sign that what you’re feeling is the real deal.
It’s one thing to feel physical attraction for a guy. You can engage in sexual activity with anyone. But if you have the emotional connection together, then your feelings of love are ready for the long haul—and maybe even a committed relationship.
8. You’re insanely attracted to them
Real love has it all: this person meets your emotional needs, they’re your best friend, and you feel crazy sexual attraction for them. If your physical chemistry is off the charts, there is a strong chance that you are in love.
Physical attraction is about way more than just good looks. When we’re in love with someone, everything about them draws us in. Even their natural smell is appealing to us. We’re not talking about cologne or deodorant, either: plain old body odor can literally attract us to someone we love. That’s because it releases “love hormones” called pheromones, which we subconsciously associate with their scent.
Still not sure if what you’re feeling is the real deal? Notice how you act around this person. Do you mimic their movements? Are you leaning towards them or facing the opposite direction? Is there an inexplicable need to be near them? If the answer is yes, then all of those different things are dead giveaways: you’re in love.
9. You imagine a future together
One major sign that you are in love is the direction of your daydreams. Imagining a future together is a clear sign that you should never ignore. If you’re not afraid of a long-term relationship with this person, then sorry to say: you’re already in too deep.
Someone who is in love can easily get carried away by fantasies. They get way ahead of themselves after the first date—or even before any date. You dream about what life would look like in a romantic relationship with this person. Planning potential adventures together becomes a fun activity. You visualize what it would be like to travel to Rome or New York City together. Picnics in the park sound like the most romantic thing in the world.
If you’re really in love, you might even think ahead to a lifetime together. Daydreaming about your wedding color scheme and what your kids would look like is not unusual for people who are totally infatuated. But if all of this sounds crazy to you? Then you probably aren’t in love.
10. You’re ignoring red flags
The obvious signs that you are in love are not always positive ones. Sometimes, a warning sign can tell you just as much. Especially one that you may be ignoring.
If you are interested in someone, or if you are in a new relationship, then chances are you are seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. This honeymoon phase feels magical, but the pink filter can easily hide a red flag.
If you find yourself excusing bad behavior, there’s a good chance you’re looking through the warped lens of love. Anger starts to look like passion. You confuse an avoidant attachment style with introversion. In your mind, they can do no wrong.
There’s nothing wrong with focusing on all the wonderful things about the person you’ve fallen for. Just don’t close your eyes to potential relationship problems.
Are You In Love?
All the signs are there? Congratulations! It sounds like you’ve found someone you truly love. There’s no better feeling than the sweet endorphin rush of a romantic attraction.
But while you’re basking in the light of love, make sure you take off those rose-colored glasses for a minute and ensure this person is all they seem to be. Remember: being in love with someone doesn’t mean they are the right person to date.
A healthy relationship requires a lot more than warm and fuzzy feelings. To maintain a long-term relationship, you and your romantic partner must be compatible. Similar values and future plans, a shared sense of humor, and obvious respect are all key ingredients for long-term dating success.
If you don’t feel like you have what it takes to last the long haul, there’s nothing wrong with going your separate ways. There is a huge difference between being in love and being in a loving relationship.
If you find both? You’ve hit the jackpot and can proudly tell the world: “I am in love!!!”