Have you ever been busy getting it on with a guy and suddenly been left working with limp equipment?
If it feels like your hot sex just got splashed by cold water, your man may be dealing with a classic case of erectile dysfunction.
Don’t worry: it’s not your fault. Nearly every healthcare provider agrees that struggling to stay hard has nothing to do with sexual attraction.
And it’s not his fault, either. Getting frustrated with a guy who can’t keep it up is only going to make his erection problem worse.
So why does he go limp halfway through? And what can you do about it?
This article has all the answers. But first, here are some quick-fire thoughts on the matter:
Things to know
- Mental health issues outside of your sex life, like depression and anxiety, could be affecting your man's performance. This can become a vicious cycle requiring serious intervention.
- If he's going a little too hard on drugs or alcohol he's almost guaranteed to have issues in the bedroom.
- Sometimes erection problems can be rooted in health issues like high blood pressure or diabetes.
Read on to find out more about guys going soft and how you can help them fly at full mast again:
How Common Are Erection Issues?
Know that you’re not alone. Erection woes are a common complaint among couples. In the United States, about 30 million men are impacted by sexual struggles. And that’s just one country. Imagine how many women are handling a soft swimmer’s tail all over the world.
The risk of erectile dysfunction increases with age. About 33% of all men are estimated to deal with performance problems. But when it comes to older gentlemen, the figure is closer to 50% of all 40 to 70-year-olds. That’s a lot of anticlimactic sex.
It’s not easy for either of you when your partner goes limp halfway through. But it helps to understand what might be behind it.
Why He Goes Limp Halfway Through
Believe it or not, the male organ is a complex piece of hardware. A penis won’t perform if it senses something is out of order.
It’s essential to figure out where things are going south. If you can identify the problem, you can find the solution. Here are some potential culprits behind his limpness:
A psychological problem could be to blame for his malfunctioning tool. Performance anxiety is a common cause of impotence. Just one episode of going limp halfway through for the first time can be enough to get him stuck in his head the second time.
Anxiety creates a vicious cycle of trying and failing to keep an erection. The pressure he puts on himself to perform makes him associate sexual activity with fear, making it even harder to stay up.
Depression is another reason men go soft. This mental illness makes him lose interest in activities he usually enjoys—like having sex with you. If he’s being treated for depression, the medication itself can also be the reason why he goes limp halfway through.
Like performance anxiety, depression can be both a cause and effect of erectile dysfunction. If he doesn’t already suffer from it, struggling in the bedroom could be enough to induce it. Start by addressing his psychological problem if you want your sex life to improve.
It’s not all in his head. The performance problem could also be rooted in physical reasons. Certain substances are known to make men struggle with sexual activity. Alcohol is one of them. While a solid buzz can help a guy get it up, one too many stiff drinks have the opposite effect.
Alcohol wreaks havoc on sexual arousal. It slows down signals between the brain and penis, making it difficult to stay erect. Alcohol also dehydrates a guy, reducing the blood flow his organ needs to perform. Frequent drinking causes low testosterone levels over time and may even impair male fertility on top of sexual performance.
This phenomenon is so common that even doctors call it whiskey dick. Cut back on heavy drinking and see if things start moving in the right direction.
Does he pop a lot of pain pills? Anti-inflammatory medication has also been linked to erectile dysfunction. Studies suggest that long-term ibuprofen use may lead to problems maintaining an erection. If your partner keeps going limp, it might be time to try switching to natural remedies.
If he’s struggling in the bedroom, there could be something deeper going on. Erection issues can indicate an underlying medical condition.
There’s a proven relationship between male issues with sexual intercourse and cardiovascular disease. This illness restricts the blood flow that is necessary for arousal. Heart disease builds up fat in a blood vessel, which can translate into impotence without prescription medication.
If he’s going soft and has also had a syncopal episode, commonly called fainting, definitely get him to see a cardiologist.
And that’s not the only possible cause. Diabetes, problems with the nervous system, high blood pressure, hormone imbalances, and in rare cases, cancer can all be related to his erection issues.
Make sure his limp tail isn’t a symptom of poor health. Get it checked out, or risk dealing with bigger problems than a stunted sex life.
How To Lift Him Back Up
Luckily, all hope is not lost. You can help your man overcome his performance problem in many different ways.
Here’s how to support him while he gets his equipment up and running again:
Take the pressure off
Performance anxiety is a real roadblock for men. He’s already beating himself up for ruining the mood. If you reveal your frustration, it will defeat him even more. And a guy with low self-esteem isn’t going to last very long.
If internal pressure is the problem, he needs a confidence boost. Get him out of his head and into the moment. Build up your man with genuine compliments and tell him how attracted you are to him. Affectionate body language, flirty texts, and romantic date nights can take his mind off the stress.
Make it as easy as possible for him to relax. Once he knows that you still want him no matter what, he can let go of the performance anxiety and be back in action.
Make lifestyle changes
Eating junk food and playing video games isn’t exactly a recipe for sexual endurance. An unhealthy lifestyle will impact more than just his pants size. It’s been shown to pretty much have the same effect on a penis as cold water.
Drinking, smoking, and obesity are all risk factors for erectile dysfunction. Throwing back brews and vaping every night is not going to do anything to help his performance problem.
That’s where you enter the picture.
Set a positive example for your partner and encourage him to make lifestyle changes. Instead of going out for dinner, offer to cook a healthy meal at home. Replace your evening movie with a walk around the neighborhood. Try to cut back on alcohol together.
These small efforts can add to significant results in the bedroom. And hey, you might even save some money while you’re at it.
You don’t always have to address the elephant in the room to get your sex life back up and running. Penetration isn’t the only way to be intimate together. Trying different things can be a fun way to try and get his flag back up the pole.
You might learn something new about each other. Maybe oral sex floats his boat. Or he can put your pleasure front and center instead. Focusing on foreplay is a great alternative to straight-up sexual intercourse when he’s figuring out his malfunctioning tool.
His limber tail syndrome doesn’t have to mean everything stops. Getting creative is a fun workaround and a great excuse to try new things together.
Go to a doctor together
It might be embarrassing, but he needs to visit a healthcare provider and rule out a lurking medical condition.
No man wants to admit he can’t stay hard. But opening up to a doctor might be the very thing that fixes his erectile problem. Encouraging him to schedule a physical exam is the best way you can help your partner.
If he’s hesitant to see someone, walk him through all the benefits of getting a proper diagnosis. Tell him that you don’t want to lose him. Remind him that being treated with prescription medication could be life-changing—or even lifesaving. Offer to go to the appointment with him if he’s nervous.
Your support will make a world of difference in getting him to seek medical help.
This Won't Be A Problem Forever
Working with a faulty tool can be disheartening for a couple. Both people blame themselves. There can be a lot of guilt and anxiety wrapped up in sexual struggles.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Tackling the problem together can strengthen your relationship and sex life. It helps you communicate openly and build each other back up. Plus, making healthy lifestyle changes and finding creative solutions in the bedroom can be a bonding experience.
So if your man goes limp, don’t ignore it. See a doctor and make sure everything is operating smoothly. But don’t fear it, either. Your relationship doesn’t have to end. It just needs a little extra care.
Get the Support You Need with Relationship Hero
Experiencing sexual difficulties can be a sensitive and embarrassing topic. If you're seeking guidance and support in improving your intimate relationship, consider reaching out to the relationship experts at Relationship Hero. They specialize in helping individuals with issues related to attraction, building intimacy, and improving communication in relationships.
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